The Best Theories On Everything (Volume III)

Please see The Best Theories On Everything (Volume I) and (Volume II) here.

The “Discretionary Spending” Theory: Don’t buy things (electronics, clothes). Buy experiences (travel, concerts).

The designer jeans will fray. The next (barely-improved) iPad will come out in six months. But that diving with whale sharks memory will last forever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The “Manti Te’o” Theories

The “Manti Te’o, The Romantic” Theory:

The “Manti Te’o Draft Stock” Theory: While Manti Te’o’s NFL draft value plunges, Manti Te’o’s fantasy value soars at an all-time high.

The “Boss Theory”: There are bosses you do not want to make mad, and there are bosses you don’t want to let down.

You will work much harder for the latter.

The “American School Summer Vacations Are Too Long” Theory: America’s lengthy school summer break dates back to Victorian times where the children were needed back home to tend to the fields.

The year is 2013. Our massive summer breaks—while delightful to students and hosting grandparents—are an anachronism in a hyper-competitive, interlinked world of seven billion. The world, as Thomas Friedman put it, is flat.

The U.S. ranked 25th in math, 17th in science, and 14th in reading worldwide, and continues to fade. Each summer, as Singapore and Shanghai students learn advanced mathematic, ours learn Disney channel lineups.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Technology Theories

The “Open Versus Closed Technology” Theory: In the long run, open (E.G. Android, Wikipedia) always beats closed (E.G. BlackBerry, Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia).

In the long run, tech collaboration scales firewalls.

The “When I Was Your Age, I Had To Walk 20 Miles In The Snow” Theory: Stop!

Every generation will have nicer things than their predecessors. If the latest innovations did not boost your quality of life, they would not be the latest or most innovative anything.

Our parents scoff that we’re spoiled because we have iPhones. Decades from now, our (spoiled) children will scoff we didn’t have wireless power.

The “Just Dance 4 Video Game” Theory: You cannot teach old dogs new tricks. You can also not teach an old dog “Just Dance 4” in a quest for fleeting Youtube immortality.

(Trust me, I tried.)