I Call Mine Elephant Trunk

Prejudices about the PBH staff aside, I consider myself a feminist. There are a lot of feminist sites to follow, but I’m probably the biggest fan of Feministing (some would say a little too much of a fan). Anyway, a recent article on Feministing dealt with the tender subject of what to call VAGINAS with one of the funnier posts and proceeding comments I’ve seen in a long time that ended up centering on the appropriate ways to refer to male and female genitalia:

I swear, I just saw the most offensive commercial about vaginas ever. I was watching F/X, and all of a sudden a Vagisil ad comes on with a woman’s voice over talking about how much she hates it when she has itching “down there.” (Yes, she actually said “down there.”)

But worse than Ms. Voice Over’s inability to say the word vagina was the fact that while she was talking about this down-there-itch, the only image on the screen is a porcupine. Followed by a spiky blowfish.

And then…sigh…Ms. Voice Over says that she feels like “everyone knows” because of “the smell.” Cut to picture of, I shit you not, a skunk. Followed by a lobster. Followed by a picture of a box of Vagisil, which apparently will cure our stank pussies of their animal nature.

Fuck you, Vagisil.

Anyway, point being is that a vagina shall always be referred to as a sword wound. Or, if you’re dealing with some oddly put together lady friend, I suggest the line “What the fuck? It looks like God stapled a cow tongue to your groin”.