{"id":108,"date":"2005-11-25T09:38:36","date_gmt":"2005-11-25T13:38:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?p=108"},"modified":"2006-01-09T17:13:45","modified_gmt":"2006-01-09T21:13:45","slug":"american-idiots-rejoice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/news-to-make-you-blue\/11\/25\/american-idiots-rejoice\/","title":{"rendered":"American Idiots, Rejoice"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ah, it&#8217;s Black Friday.  So today is the day that every loathsome, George Bush voting fat American hauls their oversized, well-in-debt selves to the local bargan provider and spends too much money on shit no one needs.  While the rest of the world struggles to survive, we struggle to fit in the rest of our clothes.<\/p>\n<p>There is nothing more disgusting then these types of Americans, the kind that complain when lines are too short, when their stomachs are too full, when their stickable American flags refuse to stay on their minivans.  If there is another major epidemic, please let it wipe out these wastes, because Osama is not holding up his end of the bargain.<\/p>\n<p>Read about today&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cnn.com\/money\/2005\/11\/25\/news\/economy\/holiday_blackfriday\/index.htm?cnn=yes\">&#8216;hysteria&#8217; at CNN<\/a>, Garrison Keillor&#8217;s <a href=\"http:\/\/salon.com\/opinion\/feature\/2005\/11\/23\/keillor\/index.html\">take on that lot<\/a>, and&#8230; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/node\/42829\">someday son, all this cheap crap will be yours.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>And for you dumb religious types: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.npr.org\/templates\/story\/story.php?storyId=%20%20%20%20%205015557\">there is no god.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ah, it&#8217;s Black Friday. So today is the day that every loathsome, George Bush voting fat American hauls their oversized, well-in-debt selves to the local bargan provider and spends too much money on shit no one needs. While the rest of the world struggles to survive, we struggle to fit in the rest of our [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>American Idiots, Rejoice - Prose Before Hos<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Ah, it&#039;s Black Friday. 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