{"id":144500,"date":"2014-02-28T12:00:08","date_gmt":"2014-02-28T17:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?p=144500"},"modified":"2014-02-25T11:09:33","modified_gmt":"2014-02-25T16:09:33","slug":"getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/cultural-correspondent\/02\/28\/getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like\/","title":{"rendered":"What Getting Rejected From Heaven Looks Like"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Believer<\/p>\n

Jesus loves theists just as much as he loves atheists. But Saint Peter isn’t as generous. If you’re a jerk–believer or not–you’ll have better luck landing a single in the Red Roof Inn than you will the pearly gates.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jesus loves theists just as much as he loves atheists. But Saint Peter isn’t as generous. If you’re a jerk–believer or not–you’ll have better luck landing a single in the Red Roof Inn than you will the pearly gates.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":549,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[260],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nWhat Getting Rejected From Heaven Looks Like<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Attention, bigots. If you're a jerk--believer or not--you'll have better luck landing a single in the Red Roof Inn than you will a spot in heaven.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/cultural-correspondent\/02\/28\/getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What Getting Rejected From Heaven Looks Like\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Attention, bigots. If you're a jerk--believer or not--you'll have better luck landing a single in the Red Roof Inn than you will a spot in heaven.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/cultural-correspondent\/02\/28\/getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Prose Before Hos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-02-28T17:00:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2014-02-25T16:09:33+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/believer-heaven.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Cultural Correspondent\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Cultural Correspondent\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/cultural-correspondent\/02\/28\/getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/cultural-correspondent\/02\/28\/getting-rejected-heaven-looks-like\/\",\"name\":\"What Getting Rejected From Heaven Looks Like\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-02-28T17:00:08+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2014-02-25T16:09:33+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/024cb7f5b243d60e40a4467b39e97ec4\"},\"description\":\"Attention, bigots. 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