{"id":2779,"date":"2008-10-29T18:51:49","date_gmt":"2008-10-29T23:51:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?p=2779"},"modified":"2012-12-26T20:59:20","modified_gmt":"2012-12-27T01:59:20","slug":"liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/","title":{"rendered":"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/center><\/p>\n

7:53: Welcome one and all, we’re live blogging this mother fucker up!<\/p>\n

7:57: Fuck! Technical problems… must be able to watch this.<\/p>\n

7:58: Order restored. Except we are hearing nothing but loud buzzing. This is nothing compared to Hussein’s angelic voice.<\/p>\n

8:00: It begins! Barack Obama loves America… and white people…. and the occasional black person.<\/p>\n

8:01: Look at all that rich mahogany. What a man.<\/p>\n

8:02: What’s that pin on his shoulder? Is that an Israeli flag?<\/p>\n

8:02: Fuck is this hokey. Fuck is this cheesy. Where are the graphs???? I demand Ross Perot graphs!!!!!<\/p>\n

8:03: Operations, blah blah blah. Here is a surgery you should consider: a vasectomy. Stop pumping out kids!<\/p>\n

8:04: WordPress is not optimal for live blogging.<\/p>\n

8:04: Mmmmmmm free market optimism! Tastes like economic inequality.<\/p>\n

8:06: Yes! 9\/11 has already been mentioned! Terrorists – 1, America – 0.<\/p>\n

8:07: You earned your pension old man! Now do the rest of us a favor and throw yourself a building. Your life is getting expensive for America.<\/p>\n

8:07: Get those corporations! And no more jobs for Mexicans and foreigners! <\/p>\n

8:08: Here comes anecdote number 2. More working class people with working class problems. And this one is black and plays the guitar. It just feels so… FOLKSY!!! \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

8:09 12 different medications a day. You in a competition with my girlfriend? How many of those are natural breast enhancers? <\/p>\n

8:10: Is this about Barack Obama or how much life is starting to suck in America? “But Daddy, I wanted to live in America where I could get a job with little to no skills and happily live a life where my arteries were clogged with Middle Eastern oil!”<\/p>\n

8:11: Oh shit! It’s the Planeteer version of energy policy. And it can’t be outsourced, because they don’t have the sun in India.<\/p>\n

8:13: Oh shit, Iraq has a surplus. And they better pay up, cuz this war of sweet liberation is not free, you Arab terrorist Al-Qaedas!!!<\/p>\n

8:14: Rocket fuel for small-businesses, which is rocket fuel for the economy. And once this is all over, we’ll use our rocket fuel to propel us into the future, or at least onto the moon.<\/p>\n

8:15: God damnit. Another peak into everyday Americana. When are they going to kick in the Death Cab for Cutie with forlorn looks out the window?<\/p>\n

8:16: Barack Obama’s father — Darkness everybody! Darkness has entered the building.<\/p>\n

8:17: An army of new teachers. I hope they’re the ones we send to Iran.<\/p>\n

8:17: Oh shit! Our live feed went down! 9\/11 9\/11 9\/11 9\/11!!! AHHHHH!!!<\/p>\n

8:18: Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Siiiighhh.<\/p>\n

8:19: We’re back, Barack Obamas Mom. This is actually pretty good. The first time tonight this has not felt like a stage prop.<\/p>\n

8:20: And it’s over. Bible quotes and laughing with the family. You think he spanks em? I’d like to see that. Barack Obama spanking some children. Real hard.<\/p>\n

8:21: Oh Joe Biden. You’re so dreamy. It must be those hair plugs. And that Horatio Alger storyline.<\/p>\n

8:23: Kentucky! American Dream. Pies. Houses. Now he works once every two weeks and can’t stop eating grits.<\/p>\n

8:24: This is our moment. And our moment is not fucking pretty.<\/p>\n

8:25: PBH Editorial Board member and designer Kit is masturbating to Obama. Not kidding.<\/p>\n

8:26: It’s all about the children. And freedom. And Free Masons in coal mines.<\/p>\n

8:27: Yikkity yak. Story of America.<\/p>\n

8:27: Bizarro Bearded Bill Richardson. Bizarro bizarro bizarro.<\/p>\n

8:28: I’m sold, Barack Obama’s got my vote. Once again, terrorists — 2, America — 0.<\/p>\n

8:28: Ut oh, I think I just heard something deflate. And that something is John McCain’s campaign.<\/p>\n

8:29: Is this live? People sure do go ape-shit about tuition.<\/p>\n

8:30: Text message for the next President of the United States! It’s either him or Clay Aiken.<\/p>\n

8:30: It’s over! I think this was the most offensive 30 minutes of my life. Initial recap: is that it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

7:53: Welcome one and all, we’re live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems… must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored. Except we are hearing nothing but loud buzzing. This is nothing compared to Hussein’s angelic voice. 8:00: It begins! Barack Obama loves America… and white people…. and the occasional black […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[259],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nLiveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Prose Before Hos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2008-10-29T23:51:49+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-12-27T01:59:20+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/fathat403.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Government Employee\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Government Employee\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/\",\"name\":\"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2008-10-29T23:51:49+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-12-27T01:59:20+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb\"},\"description\":\"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/\",\"name\":\"Prose Before Hos\",\"description\":\"The Far Side Of Politics\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb\",\"name\":\"Government Employee\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/pbhnetwork\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/author\/government_employee\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos","description":"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos","og_description":"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/","og_site_name":"Prose Before Hos","article_published_time":"2008-10-29T23:51:49+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-12-27T01:59:20+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/fathat403.jpg"}],"author":"Government Employee","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@pbhnetwork","twitter_site":"@pbhnetwork","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Government Employee","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/","url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/","name":"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial - Prose Before Hos","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2008-10-29T23:51:49+00:00","dateModified":"2012-12-27T01:59:20+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb"},"description":"7:53: Welcome one and all, we're live blogging this mother fucker up! 7:57: Fuck! Technical problems... must be able to watch this. 7:58: Order restored.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/10\/29\/liveblogging-the-barack-o-mercial\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/","name":"Prose Before Hos","description":"The Far Side Of Politics","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb","name":"Government Employee","sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/pbhnetwork"],"url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/author\/government_employee\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2779"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2779"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2779\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136212,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2779\/revisions\/136212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}