One week away from computers and I feel disorganized, detached, and unsure of the world ahead. How am I supposed to know what to think and feel if I don’t have the constant stream of blog diarrhea pouring its wisdom directly into the ol’ medulla oblongata.<\/p>\n
Thankfully, I’m back and blacker than ever<\/a>. It was April Fool’s day<\/a>, and hopefully you noticed some ultra-disturbing images<\/a> and thoughts canvasing PBH (more so than usual). The most important being, of course, Portrait of a Young Man as a Republican<\/a>. Now, I’m not one to judge people, but this Matt Sanchez<\/a> guy is too much. If you don’t remember, he was the conservative boy hero honored at CPAC<\/a>, only to be later revealed he was formerly a gay porn star.<\/a> Yes, a gay porn star honored in the bowels of a conservative political conference<\/a>. And if this wasn’t enough, he apparently also conned donors of $10k to support his deployment to Iraq<\/a>. I’m thinking he probably brought some tear sheets featuring him doing the nastiest homosexual doggy style a man could dream of, just to, you know, bring some wonderful American culture<\/a> to Iraq.<\/p>\n
In other farcical worlds, we had the privilege of watching soulless McCain v2.0 ‘walk casually<\/a>‘ through an Iraqi market. Afterwards, he proclaimed that Iraq was safe for all and that real progress was being made. But how is your mark of progress a heavily guarded photo-op<\/a> at a site attacked only 30 minutes after he left? Only if you’re John McCain, too busy cozying up<\/a> with the part of the Republican base that stomped your testicles in 2000 to realize no one cares<\/a> or likes you anymore<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Other important artifacts of the blog world include an elaborate underground labyrinth to store delicious marijuana<\/a>, 10 hot steamy facts about Einstein not including his moral shortfall of endorsing Zionism<\/a>, see what a woman looks like with a lot of makeup<\/a> (the serpent seducers way of preying on males), never ever believe a waiter who says restaurant<\/a>, be disgusted by nerds<\/a>, stop ruining our housing economy with your SUV’s<\/a>, and when you hate God, do it in the friendliest way possible<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"