Top 25 Simpsons Scenes, Quotes, and Otherwise Hilarious Moments

6. That’s it, I’m going to clown college.

Emcee: And now, to help introduce our fantastic new burger — the one with ketchup — here he is, coming in by parachute: Krusty the Klown!
[sound of Homer yelling, getting rapidly louder] [he smashes through the hamburger display; his parachute floats gently after him]
Children: Yay!
Homer: “To audience: I now proclaim this new burger…for sale!”
Children: Yay!
Homer: [sees emcee motioning, laughs like Krusty] [Homer does some inept cartwheels] Oh…save me.
Children: Yay!
[a midget in a prison outfit and mask walks out]
Child: It’s the Krusty Burglar!
Homer: Ohmigod! He’s stealing all the burglars! Why you little —
[jumps Krusty Burglar, starts pummeling him]
Emcee: Oh, Homer, it — it’s all — it — it’s all j — jus — just an act!
Child: [crying] Stop! Stop, he’s already dead.
Emcee: Er, Krusty the Klown, everybody!
[a few children clap; the rest are too horrified]

7. Quintessential Moleman.

Audience: Boo! Boo!
Burns: Smithers…are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns! Boo-urns!”
Burns: Are you saying “boo” or “Boo-urns”?
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Hans: I was saying “Boo-urns”…

8. It still sounds better than Applebee’s

Moe: If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of…crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.
Announcer: At Moe’s, we serve good old-fashioned home cooking deep fried to perfection.
[Moe submerges a whole tray covered with food, utensils,etc., in the deep fryer]
[he takes the fried tray to a couple, who break off pieces and give him the thumbs-up]

9. Set your clock to the jock’s haircut:

Grandma: His wild, untamed facial hair revealed a new world of rebellion, of change. A world where doors were open for women like me. But Abe was stuck in his button-down plastic-fantastic Madison Avenue scene.
Abe: Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas — there’s a haircut you could set your watch to.

10. Sideshow Bob explains everyones hidden desire for draconian Republican politics:

Bob: Because you _need_ me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.

11. The Worlds Smartest Man: Larry Flynt

Council: Stephen Hawking!
Skinner: The world’s smartest man!
Lisa: What are you doing here?
Hawking: I wanted to see your utopia, but now I see it is more of a Fruitopia.
Skinner: I’m sure what Dr. Hawking means is —
Hawking: Silence. I don’t need anyone to talk for me, except this voice box. You have clearly been corrupted by power. For shame.
Homer: Larry Flynt is right! You guys stink!

12. Vegetarianism is for commies.

Lisa: Wait Dad! Good news, everyone! You don’t have to eat meat! I’ve got enough gazpacho for everyone. [Crowd murmurs.] It’s tomato soup, served ice cold!
[Crowd laughs out loud.]
Barney: Go back to Russia!

13. Can you lend me a jar of love?

Krik: Oh, my demo tape!
Homer: [Homer examines the tape] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”
[laughing] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”
[continues laughing] That’s your picture on the front…
[still laughing]
Kirk: Go ahead, Homer, laugh at me.
Homer: I already did.

14. The Infinite Power of DJ Robots

Boss: Look, our ratings are down, and the station is being swamped with angry calls and letter-bombs. And it’s all your fault!
Bill: Yes it is, ma’am.
Boss: This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter.
[presses a button]
DJ 3000: Hey, hey. How about that weather out there?
Woah! That was the caller from hell.
Well, hot dog! We have a weiner.
Bill: Man, that thing’s great!
Marty: Don’t praise the machine!
Boss: If you don’t get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ 3000 gets your job.
[Marty punches it]
DJ 3000: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
Bill: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

15. Candy Apple Island — what’s there!??!

Karl: Hey, I heard we’re goin’ to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Karl: Apes. But they’re not so big.