Thanksgiving & Black Friday: The Best And Worst of America
My family has had its own Thanksgiving traditions. It used to go something like this: My dad would win the Atlanta Marathon. He’d give his post-race interview. Then we’d pile into the car for the chocolate-fueled, Doors-soundtracked four-hour-drive to the grandparents’ in Asheville, North Carolina.
There’s no more Atlanta Marathon. The grandparents moved to Santa Fe. So now we celebrate Nontraditional Traditional Thanksgiving in the North Georgia hinterlands. It’s much faster. A no fuss, no muss affair headlined by steaks, shrimp, and cranberry sauce from Costco. (The cranberry sauce doesn’t particularly mix with anything. My younger brother just really, really likes cranberry sauce.) We treat the dog to his favorite peanut butter cookies for his birthday. We invariably eat too much apple pie, pass out to James Bond movies, and wake up to tragic Black Friday headlines.
There have been three Black Friday fatalities since 2008 alone. In 2008, a temporary Long Island Wal-Mart employee was trampled to death by an unruly, impatient mob of customers who shattered through the front doors at 4:55 AM. Police officers who attempted to resuscitate the worker were also stampeded in the fracas. A few counties over, a Valley Stream woman suffered a gashed leg from another Wal-Mart stampede. The woman completed her shopping before seeking medical attention and filing a police report, an officer said.
The New York Times dubbed Black Friday “a carnival of capitalism”. Time Magazine called it “a full-contact sport”. CBS described it as “the Super Bowl of shopping.” But there are no winners here. If Thanksgiving brings out the best in Americans, Black Friday brings out our worst. Heartfelt toasts and prayers wear off with the tryptophan. By 5 AM, cranky shopaholics bust in Wal-Mart sliding glass doors and stampede employees all in the name of 20% off discounts. Their appetite for mashed potatoes and stuffing exceeded only by their insatiable hunger for Wiis, Kindles, and Made In China-stamped toys. It is the annual sleep-deprived bloodsport of American mass consumerism. A no-holds-barred wrestling match coming Friday to a Toys-R-Us near you.
Worst of all, it doesn’t have to be. Sleep in this Friday. Order online. Wal-Mart is offering free shipping. No one has ever died placing an Amazon order. And this Thanksgiving, remember to be grateful. Not just for the food. Or the day off. But for the uncomfortable family moments, too. Treasure the longest long weekend of the year. Remember the “I remember when you were this big” greetings and that the snide, backhanded comments are their special way of showing love. Remember years from now, you’ll look back and laugh. And be nice. Because years from now that eccentric aunt or uncle could be you.
