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in celebration of a less-than-triumphant return

ill come back again
ill get money again
ill get funny again
and you’ll want me back again

finito mussolini

Why Cam Newton Proves College Players Should Be Paid

If there is one lesson to be taken from the Heisman trophy won by Cam Newton, it is that amateurism, the one component that separates the NFL and NCAA, doesn’t mean much. Now, don’t blame Cam Newton or his dad, because the NCAA system exists to promote “amateurism,” which is basically code for unpaid indentured servitude.

The NCAA has developed the best possible economic scenario: national exposure of its product, insane revenues, and virtually zero expenditure on payroll. Since its inception, the NCAA has exploited its workhorses with an egregious lack of concern for its participants. In one particularly damning example, the NCAA went so far as to develop a new designation for athletes in order to avoid Workers Compensation claims.

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The 2010 Baseball Year In Review, Part 1

Why Phillies Fans Are Barbarians

“Dad, can I run on the field?” the soon-to-be Tasered 17 year old son asked.

“I don’t think you should, son,” the dad replied.

“This would be a once in a lifetime experience.”

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Pimpin’ Ain’t Breesy: The 2010 NFL Year In Review

He blamed God. “I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!” Buffalo Bills wide-receiver Stevie Johnson tweeted after dropping the game-winning TD pass, “YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO…”

Maybe it’s the wrath of the Heavenly Father. More likely its Buffalo’s porous offensive line. But the Bills are 4-10. Johnson’s tweet was another ill-advised C’MON MAN! in an NFL year full of them. Portly defensive end Albert Haynesworth let himself go, for starters. OchoCinco guaranteed the Bengals would reach the Super Bowl. Dallas quarterback Jon Kitna “tried” to do The Dougie dance. And the Redskins feted Donovan McNabb with a 5 year/$70 million contract. Three weeks later, McNabb lost his job to Rex Grossman and is the highest paid third-string quarterback in NFL history. But the worst decision of all may have been Brett Favre’s choice to return for a 20th NFL season.

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Today’s Sign Of The Apocalypse: TSA Security Play Set

Help raise your very own little dictator with the help of Playmobil Security Check Point! Appropriate for any child that is comfortable with seeing dongs in a body scanner.