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Boston, Raped By The Moon People.

Apparently the Moon people decided to invade us (I TOLD you a preemptive strike against the Moon was necessary). Everyone is either too busy planning war against Iran or snorting coke.

At least these guys are smart enough to be assholes back during the whole proceedings. So some fat Boston cops couldn’t tell the difference between a FUCKING CARTOON CHARACTER and a BOMB, that doesn’t mean the marketers should have to pay for others stupidity. Check out the press conference of Sean Stevens and Peter Berdovsky, the braintrust behind the Moonnite light bright:

I feel like my hair is pretty perfect but altogether I want to redirect this to the haircuts of the ’70s,” Berdovsky said, ignoring reporters’ shouts.

“I really like the one where the hair curls around to the back,” Stevens replied.

“Oh yeah, that one’s so hot,” Berdovsky then responded.

Frustrated reporters, trying to get the pair to respond to serious questions about the incident that at one point involved the participation of the FBI and Department of Homeland Security, finally tossed a question that gave one of them cause to reflect.

When asked whether they were afraid their hair might be cut if they are sent to prison, Berdovsky stopped his rant and answered, “Whatever happens I feel that my hair is safe at the moment.”

While Boston officials were livid, fans of the show mocked authorities for what they called an overreaction.

About a dozen fans gathered outside Charlestown District Court on Thursday morning with signs saying “1-31-07 Never Forget” and “Free Peter.”

This Is Still The Fucking Link Of The Day

Because I can’t get enough of it

1. John McCain

Charges: The most consistently mischaracterized politician in the country, even McCain’s most nakedly self-serving machinations are universally hailed as the bold moves of an independent maverick who really, really, like, cares, man. By virtue of his five-year stay at the Hanoi Hilton and a completely ineffectual campaign finance reform bill (which was itself only PR damage control for his long-forgotten role in the Keating Five), McCain has so successfully snowed America the he could go around kicking puppies all day and he’d be applauded for his authenticity. In reality, McCain is as phony as slimeballs come, having reversed his positions on Roe v. Wade, Bush’s tax cuts, the gay marriage amendment and Jerry Falwell in the last year alone, while the mainstream press looked away and whistled nonchalantly. Keeps changing the number of additional troops he thinks should be sent to Iraq, in hopes of extending the disaster beyond the next presidential election, so his decorated veteran status will still be relevant.

Exhibit A: “I hated the gooks, and I will hate them for as long as I live.”

Sentence: Back to the bamboo cage.

No stoning, Canada migrants told

Next up on the travel agenda… Canada!

Word is in early this morning; the United States is not the only country practicing immigration reform. A small town in Quebec, leery of islamic foreigners has issued a new edict:

“We consider it completely outside norms to… kill women by stoning them in public, burning them alive, burning them with acid, circumcising them etc.”

It points out that women are allowed to drive, vote, dance and own their own homes.

No Stoning in Canada

50 Most Loathsome People in America

I think I have a new boyfriend, and he’s the guy who compiled this list:

16. You

Charges: Your whole life has been a pitiful exercise in rote mimicry, a meek subjugation of individuality in exchange for herd approval. Your delusions of “common sense” wisdom stem from an unwillingness to seek information and an inability to critically analyze it. You never hesitate to offer strong opinions on subjects you don’t know a damn thing about. You’re willing to believe anything a guy in a suit says on TV, as long as it doesn’t hint at your culpability in the negligent homicide of your country and planet or otherwise cloud your streak-free conscience. You’re more worried about friction on the “Desperate Housewives” set than the lack of health coverage at your tedious, soul-destroying job. You have no idea what is going on in the world, and you’re fine with that. You are why democracy doesn’t work.

Exhibit A: You’re Time magazine’s person of the year. So was Hitler.

Sentence: More of the same.

Hey, free candy.

Someone figured out my MySpace strategy. Fuck!