Temporary Marriage and Sex and Society in the Muslim World
This is the third installment of our weekly column entitled Ask a Shiite. Our resident Shiite and United Arab Emirates citizen will be fielding questions of a philosophical, physical, and political nature in regards to Shiite Islamic belief and Middle East perception. Interested in asking a question? Send an email to alec.
Question: Can you talk about sex and society in the United Arab Emirates and in Islamic culture in general? What is temporary marriage and how does it function in Islamic law and faith? Is there premarital sex and can you talk about the relationship between sex and religion for Muslims?
Answer: Temporary Marriage is a practice allowed for Muslims when they need to engage with someone from the opposite sex for multiple reasons but for a fixed amount of time and a less ‘connected’ relation.
Temp Marriage can be done for any amount of time. In the eyes of God you are lawful to each other. Once the period of the marriage expires, the couple are free to go and are ‘divorced’ automatically. But after that period the girl or woman has to wait for four monthly menstruation cycles before contracting another marriage. This prevents many problems. But in this time, if they want, the couple can marry each other again. There are a few other conditions and rules which need to be followed in Mutah and they prevent corruption.
Mutah (Temp Marriage) is not done only for sexual pleasure but for many other reasons. Technically speaking a boy or girl who have reached physical maturity can engage in Mutah. Physical maturity is defined with particular
rulings.
In many countries like Iran,I have heard, Mutah is quite common but I have personally not come across people engaging in Mutah. To engage in Mutah, the girl says a specific sentence in Arabic which basically means that she is engaging herself in Marriage for the agreed time and Dower. Then immediately the boy replies Accepted. These are the only formalities required and the couple are engaged together. For this declaration, no witnesses are required but there is no problem if there are. The dower is a small present to the wife from the husband.
Mutah is you could say a private thing and does not have anything to do with the UAE’s law. Otherwise it is done in the same way around the world.
Talking about sex is absolutely allowed in the UAE without any, as far as I know, law which prevents it. If someone has a problem with you then matters get serious otherwise if you talk with your friends in a responsible way then you are good to go.
In Islam also discussing sex is allowed provided you do not have a bad intention or you are not aroused leading to a major sin. Sex is discussed for educational purposes in fact our Infallible Imams have given us instructions on mating which are, according to science today, correct and recommended.
I personally have not come across people engaging in temporary marriage. It is allowed, practiced but people only use it as a last resort. They try to control themselves and given the right advice at the right time, people manage to pull off their teenage and young adult life without mating. There are many ways of controlling oneself and a person just needs to manage his lust properly. The reward for control over ones mind, temptations and emotions, not just in lust, is more than that of defending ourselves by war. War comes under Jihad Asghar (Lesser Struggle) and this control comes under Jihad Akbar (Greater Struggle).
Premarital sex is not allowed in Islam as it is a form of fornication and comes under a Major Sin. I don’t understand why someone would want to have premarital sex when one can engage in temporary marriage.
Of course, as said above, we can talk about the relation between sex and religion. Your perceptions towards Muslims seem to be one where Muslims are totally cut off from sex and that sex is a sin. Sex is in fact highly encouraged and given that you have the right intentions, it comes under worship of God. Sex gets rid of our sins very quickly.
This however has to be done under the Sharia rules which really help the society in the long run. They might seem harsh but this opinion should not remain when one studies their philosophy, reasoning and logic.
Previous Installments of Ask a Shiite: Shiites & Sunnis and Perceptions of the United States in the Middle East.
[tags]sex in the middle east, intercourse, dating, ask a shiite, temporary marriage, united arab emirates, sexuality, society, islamic culture, sexuality, premarital sex, god, allah, religious practice[/tags]
Interesting. Temporary marriages sound similar to exclusive dating in America. Basically, sex within a committed relationship, which in most version of Christianity is a sin, unless I’ve completely missed the point of promise rings and shit like that.
Really I don’t understand how someone could go about having premarital sex if you have temporary marriage. It seems like you’d have to be an idiot not to say the magic love words that make Allah smile on naughty couplings.
Sounds like a great way to keep a mistress, hire a prostitute, or have a one night stand with a stranger. Especially when marriage to your main wife doesn’t provent you from having as many “temporary marriages” as you want! There’s even a dower involved so you can compensate your new bride for her 45 minutes of matrimonial services at the local hotel.
Hmm, is there any way to get temporary permits for OTHER sins? I mean, I’d be happy to clear it with the church before killing my neighbor or stealing a car. It seems like it all boils down to administration and ritual. Perform the right ritual and your sin is not a sin. Which, when you think about it, is pretty fantastic. Way better than those Christian prudes, who won’t let you sleep with multiple women unless you’re a Morman.
Mormons don’t have multible wives. Thats the most ignorant thing I have ever heard.
Alright now you didnt really understand Mutah did you? About saying those ‘magic’ words, it just there to have a commitment between the two sides or if there are witnesses, then so that they hear it loud and clear. Secondly it takes less than a minute so it wouldnt hurt woudl it?
To Yoinks:
The points you raised are typical ones and have been literally ‘blasted’ away by our scholars. I m not an expert so I possibly couldnt do the same. Now in Mutah you cant marry a woman who is already married. The girl has to be of a good character. She cant be a publicly known adulterer and neither can the man I think. She has to wait 4 months before marrying another man. So prostitution is off the list. The girls ‘vali’ better known as the father has to give the girl permission to get married.
According to one of our top scholars, who can be emulated for laws (there are only a handful of those type in the world at any given time), has passed his verdict that you can only marry upto 4 woman at a time.
If I m not mistaken, you can not marry a non-muslim if you are already married with a muslim in a permanent marriage. If you are already married I think you need your wife’s permission to go into Mutah which as you might have guessed would be next to impossible.
You try to skip any of the rules and as far asI know, the relation goes illegal. unlawful and into fornication which is a sin.
Now these are just a few points about why Mutah is different from prostitution, adultery or fornication. I dont know why you would think Mutah is equal to adultery if you knew the about Mutah in depth. Its not a temporary license to sin legally.
To Seann:
I am very sorry for how long it took fr me to reply to your little request. I was just kind of busy and couldnt make it.
As for the article, I will first tell you that this has nothing to do with Islam. So we will steer clear of that. As far as the article goes, I would agree with it. This thing is actually a cultural one where Arabs think of them superior to others. I live in the UAE and to some extent we notice the same thing, however less profound, and we get angry with the Arabs. We always say that they claim to be Muslims but practice racism.
This article might be a bit harsh or over exaggerated. Or maybe I am in the UAE so it is less apparent over here. This whole thing is cultural and the Arabs have not yet come out of it into a society that is free and equal.
Degradation of women has been linked to Islam. While Islam does call for sexual control, it has ways like Mutah to relieve oneself. Most Arab countries are from the Sunni sect and take Mutah as illegal so this is what you get out of it. Otherwise women are protected in Islam far better than even the most advanced countries in the world. When Ayatollah Khomeini brought Islamic law to Iran, women had to take hijab (modest dressing). People criticized him. Today in Iran women are very safe, can leave their houses even late in the night without any fear. Yes some cases do go bad but they over exaggerated by the media and they are not as many as in other ‘free’ countries.
Basically all that racism and backwardness that has been written is totally cultural and has nothing to do with Islam, and it is there even today to some extent. Hopefully the situation will get better. It is not so bad in the UAE though.
I can’t believe people are doing these things as a muslim i know do all those things which makes ALLAH happy … if we’re talking about Mutah, what impression you left to others, (To Shia) So any father could ever alowed her daughter to go for temporary marriage like for two days and finish your virganity …. This never had happened in islam, if you’re talking about a boy or girl is hardly control his lust then where islam goes ..Islam teach us patience to control your senses, Marriage is only permanent mariage and nothing this not even socially having positive impact but also Islamically. People says you can go under 4 wifes at same time I want to ask those people do they beliefs all other things what islam told us, having 4 wifes, can you manage equality now adays between them ..never this is even not socially good, Man Islam is so simple just to control yourself from any sin else we’re sinful. Marriage should be 1 and both of them should loyal to each other and spend life while loving each other that’s what life is and that’s what islam told us…..
May ALLAH bless you all
cool post dude
oh my good ness!!!!
how vould this happen in islam!!!
im never going to do mutah!!
its ll for sex!!
other wise who would want to get maried for like 1 month???
not me!!
what if you have chlidren!!
all this is bullshit, there is no such thing as a “temporary marriage” in islam.you’re just makin fun of islam.
No, It is a fact of Islamic jurisprudence (Sharia) in any Islamic school of thought or law and in any Islamic denomination (Shia, Sunni, etc). Just because it embarrasses you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It is taking advantage of a “loophole” in Islamic law which says divorce is allowed and makes it easy to do so.
So after reading this there’s just one thing I want to know…can you do this in America…?
Subhanallah!!!
I just came across this blog and i just wont to set the record straight….so everyone read carefully.
Islam has been split, for a long time, into 2 major factions; sunni and Shi’a. the Sunni being the vast majority and are in control of all muslim countries except Iran.
The Shi’a point of view is that Mutah is allowed and lawfull. However i was under the impression that wittnesses are required but Allah Alam; i am not a shia myself and i don’t agree with many of their views including this one
The Sunni view is unanamous that Mutah was allowed in the begging of Islam but then was prohibited by the prophet (saw) untill the end of time. So no one can do mutah “marrage” again. How could it be otherwise? Anyone who has read the quur’an and knows about the prophet (saw) will know that such a thing could never have been allowed to continue. It was a jahillya (Period of ignorance before Islam) practice that was allowed during the first part of the prophet’s misson only because to get the arabs away from it would take stages; the Arabs of that time would have found it very difficult to abadon it just all at once…
…the analogy of mutah is the same as that of drinking alcohol. The arabs used to love drinking and so to get them away from this real faith had to be put in their hearts first, so that then their hearts become purer and they look more to the Spirite and the afterlife than towards the flesh and this lower world; so that this faith would give them strength to obey Allah. That is why the first chapters of the Qur’an to be revealed never have any instructions – they just encourage contemplation, beleife and faith in God and the afterlife. Then it was prohibited to pray while drunk, so the arabs had to make sure they were sober by the time the nest prayer came. Finally after a few years alcohol was prohimbited forever.
Just because it was allowed in the beginig of Islam does not mean that alcohol is islamic. The same with mutah. It is an un-Islamic practice and all who do it now are just following their lusts without any guidance from God.
It should be enough for all sincere souls to know that the prophet (saw) never in his life contracted a muta “marrage” just has he (saw) never once drank alcohol. He(saw) was 25 yrs old, the most handsome man in Mecca, with the best reputation and lineage, and he married a 40 year old widow (who had been married twice before) and was completely faithful and happy with her untill she passed away 24 odd years later. What young man would do that in this day and age!?!
He (saw) encouraged young people to get married quickly to protect them and those that could not marry to help themselfes by fasting. The propblem these days is that parents and society often make marrage hard and difficult and expensive; a person who marries at 25 or under is very lucky these days!. He (saw) encouraged people to help make marrage easy for young people and not make such high demands.
Just to conclude; in orthodox islam there is no muta only real marrage (with full nikah/contract, 2 wittneses and a gardian who gives away the girl), and in Islam marrage is easy so long as society allows it
I hope this clears everything up and Peace upon those who follow guideance!!!!
Salaams and take care
1st. Dear brothers Muslims and none muslims who would like to know about Islam teachings.
Islam is the religion of Peace, Kindness, Mercy, Love, Dignity, Toleranc, Equity, Justice, Honor, purification and all the best values in humanty. If muslims do bad acts or committed certain faults whether against them selves against others, Islam is clear from their dos, also Islam can not be blamed for what Muslims do, Muslims are humans who are subject to right and wrong deeds and actions. In no way that bad deeds of people can be called rites of the religion. Islam the religion of all opposite openions, every thing could be discussed with good intensions. Islam has no racism or sexism at all, in fact who know about Islam teachings and be fair, he/she would delare that Islam granted men and women their full rights in a superior way that no other relegion or other teachings could even imagine, the women is treated a full righted person at the time she was treated as a second or third grade human in some relegions or human made teachings, check Qura’n and Prophet Hadith.
2nd. As temporary marrage is concerned, there is no temporary marrage that both parties know or set a time period for it, there is only ( muta’h ) which Sheiat practice under the nade of Islam, while Islam is red of such un realistek and un congital practice.
What a load of crap. Either you can have premarrital sex or you can’t. Simple. You cannot go and have a temporary marriage just becuase you feel like having a shag. Whats the point in that. The religion may as well change and just say that you can shag who you want when you want!It’s hypocracy, very clever though!
can somebody pass us a cone man.
i a in a current relationship and i am 22 year old fully covered muslim i like to say i had two mu’ta so far now the good thing about it if you don’t have to tell your husband and all you have to do is just agree on the time of your mu’ta know from trying it mant times i had great pleasures from other married mens the whole idea of it is don’t let nobody know just do it anyway it’s between you and god.
would you be ready for another one?
you sound like your muslim arab!
Abdullah:
Are you sure it wasn’t the second Caliph who prohibited temporary marriage?
Sex gets rid of our sins very quickly?,, sex comes under the worship of God? Are you kidding me?
Temp marriages or muta which translates to pleasure marriages the holy muslim way of prostituting. No offence
How could Allah allow such crap? And you give dowry
Basically ur paying the paying the woman for her efforts= prostitution
Your whole religion is a whole lot of crap … no offence 😀
Alcoholics anonymous org and Sober houses…
It would take a special kind of human being- perhaps a not- human type of human being- to say, in the wake of having been abandoned and betrayed by their lover, that the open relationship was fine. Because if your lover is taken from you, the relations…
This is a bunch of BS. I haven’t read all of the comments, but one should know the consequences should the woman become pregnant. The father does not claim the child, nor or they legally responsible for them. So in what way does this represent Islam? This is just some perverted way of justifying sex without a commitment. No respectable Muslim woman would ever agree to this.
this article was writeen be a shiate person. this kind of marriage is only permitted in iran. this kind of marriage is not allowed by islam and can not be found except for iran and its followers like hezbullah.
anyone should not take any word for granted. the writter should study the subject before talking about islam and what is permitted. this is a kind of prostitution where women are considered only for pleasure and can be shared by men like a cup of tea. kids will be thrown in the street. there is a lengthy study about this and can not be explained here. however, the iranian who consider themselves muslims and the other muslims are not, they are the one who promote this kind of prostitution and many other stubid things such as torturing themselves and cutting themselves with blades. they believe that the Quran, the islamic wholly book is not present. so the spend their time telling stories and lies.
http://www.4sc.com.br...
Temporary Marriage and Sex and Society in the Muslim World – Prose Before Hos…
Woman of Alien…
Ideal do the job you’ve accomplished, this site is really awesome with great data. Time is God’s way of holding anything from going on at the same time….
Whispering Misty…
So sorry you can miss the workshop!…
Thorn of Girl…
Very good information may be found on this website web site….
The Silent Shard…
This will most likely be pretty useful for many of the job opportunities I plan to do not only with my web site but…
The Ships’s Voyages…
I feel technologies just can make it even worse. Now there’s a channel to never treatment, now there would not be considered a probability for them to find out….
This is my new web site…
Hey There to the world. Have A Look At my modern webpage and analyze your opinion. You Find a lot of information about me plus for my job. Thanks To each person that will view my new web site. Have A Great day….
The Slave of the Husband…
Searching for in advance to studying extra from you afterward!……
Koiteich…
This is my very Excerpt…
Third Flower…
My wife and i are already now delighted that Albert could carry out his research thanks to the ideas he had through your web content. It is actually from time to time perplexing to simply often be freely giving actions which a number of people might ha…
The Slave of the Husband…
Trying to get in advance to finding out extra from you afterward!……
Souls in the Waves…
Superior Early morning, I just stopped in to go to your site and assumed I’d say I appreciated myself….
The Ships’s Voyages…
I feel technological innovation just causes it to be worse. Now there’s a channel to never ever care, now there won’t become a prospect for them to find….
The Silent Shard…
This will likely possibly be quite valuable for some of the positions I plan to do not only with my blog site but…
The Silent Shard…
This will in all probability be very handy for some of the employment I intend to you should not only with my blog but…
The Ships’s Voyages…
I believe technology just can make it worse. Now there is a channel to by no means treatment, now there is not going to be a possibility for them to discover….
Whispering Misty…
So sorry you can miss the workshop!…
Whispering Misty…
So sorry you may miss the workshop!…
Souls in the Waves…
Very good Early morning, I just stopped in to visit your site and imagined I would say I liked myself….
The Birch of the Shadow…
I believe there could be considered a couple duplicates, but an exceedingly useful record! I have tweeted this. Many thanks for sharing!…
The Ships’s Voyages…
I feel technology just makes it even worse. Now there’s a channel to under no circumstances care, now there will not be a probability for them to find out….
Thorn of Girl…
Great information could be identified on this web blogging site….
Thorn of Girl…
Very good information is often discovered on this web weblog….
The Slave of the Husband…
Seeking in advance to studying further from you afterward!……
Whispering Misty…
So sorry you can skip the workshop!…
Woman of Alien…
Ideal operate you have got finished, this web site is really awesome with excellent information. Time is God’s technique for maintaining all the things from happening without delay….
Souls in the Waves…
Fantastic Morning, I just stopped in to visit your web site and considered I would say I experienced myself….
The Silent Shard…
This will likely in all probability be rather practical for many of your respective jobs I want to do not only with my web site but…
The Silent Shard…
This will likely likely be rather beneficial for many of your work opportunities I decide to will not only with my blog site but…
Woman of Alien…
Ideal work you have got carried out, this website is really neat with superb information and facts. Time is God’s means of holding every little thing from occurring at the same time….
The Silent Shard…
This may probably be pretty beneficial for many of your respective work I plan to don’t only with my website but…
Woman of Alien…
Excellent do the job you have got completed, this page is admittedly neat with great information. Time is God’s strategy for retaining every little thing from occurring at once….
The Absent Game…
Concerning me and my husband we have owned additional MP3 players over the years than I can count, together with Sansas, iRivers, iPods (traditional & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few decades I’ve settled down to one line of gamers….
The Birch of the Shadow…
I feel there might be a couple of duplicates, but an exceedingly handy checklist! I’ve tweeted this. Several thanks for sharing!…
great…
Thanks for any other wonderful post. The place else may anyone get that kind of information in such a perfect approach of writing? I have a presentation subsequent week, and I am at the look for such information….
Woman of Alien…
Perfect work you have finished, this site is actually cool with excellent information. Time is God’s technique for maintaining every thing from happening directly….
The Birch of the Shadow…
I think there may perhaps become a few duplicates, but an exceedingly useful checklist! I have tweeted this. Several thanks for sharing!…
The Absent Game…
Involving me and my husband we’ve owned additional MP3 players over the years than I can count, which include Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few a long time I’ve settled down to one line of players….
Website worth visiting…
below you’ll find the link to some sites that we think you should visit…
2013 rose parade videos…
[…]here are some links to sites that we link to because we think they are worth visiting[…]…
nice…
Useful information. Lucky me I discovered your website accidentally, and I am stunned why this accident did not took place earlier! I bookmarked it….
OK…
Hello.This post was really fascinating, especially since I was looking for thoughts on this matter last week….
The Silent Shard…
This may almost certainly be quite handy for a few of your respective jobs I want to you should not only with my web site but…
Healing’s Dragon…
to search out problems to improve my web site!I suppose its alright to produce utilization of a few of your respective principles!!…
great…
Thanks for some other informative web site. The place else could I am getting that kind of info written in such an ideal means? I\’ve a undertaking that I\’m just now operating on, and I have been at the look out for such information….
Thorn of Girl…
Superb info is usually uncovered on this online blog site….
Tomas Weisser…
Wonderful article! We are linking to this particularly great post on our site. Keep up the good writing….
Healing’s Dragon…
to uncover difficulties to boost my web-site!I suppose its ok to produce use of a handful of of your principles!!…
The Ships’s Voyages…
I think technological innovation just makes it worse. Now there is a channel to in no way care, now there would not become a probability for them to find….
Healing’s Dragon…
to discover issues to boost my internet site!I suppose its alright to generate utilization of several of one’s concepts!!…
Woman of Alien…
Ideal do the job you have got finished, this web site is de facto cool with great information. Time is God’s technique for keeping almost everything from going on without delay….
Healing’s Dragon…
to seek out concerns to further improve my site!I suppose its ok to create use of a handful of of the concepts!!…
crash diets…
check beneath, are some absolutely unrelated sites to ours, nevertheless, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use…
Thorn of Girl…
Great information and facts is usually observed on this website weblog….
Healing’s Dragon…
to discover problems to boost my web page!I suppose its okay to produce use of a couple of of your respective ideas!!…
sexy girls…
Temporary Marriage and Sex and Society in the Muslim World – Prose Before Hos…
I Have A Lot to Learn…
[…]The Original Article Here[…]……
Whispering Misty…
So sorry you are going to pass up the workshop!…
The Slave of the Husband…
Seeking forward to finding out additional from you afterward!……
Third Flower…
My spouse and that i happen to be now delighted that Albert could execute his research as a result of the ideas he had by means of your web content. It really is every now and then perplexing to simply normally be making a gift of actions which lots of…