Darkie Toothpaste

I was doing a little research this evening, don’t ask me into what, and uncovered a little ditty called “Darkie Toothpaste”. Darkie is apparently a brand going way back (historical back, yo) which draws upon years and years of blatant racial stereotyping performed by the Chinese. The message here is: Black people have nice white teeth, and if you want nigger teeth, brush up with Darkie! American readers please note the obvious similarity to Aunt Jemima or Uncle Ben’s. The commentary provided by young Asian and American readers of the site is priceless:

Among the pleasantries:

Well, I don’t know if “Darkie” is racist-RACIST, but it’s definitely offensive. Imagine, say, a black hair dye that shows a really stereotypical Asian person–SUPER-slanty eyes, buck-toothed, thick glasses, etc.–and it’s called “Yellowie” or “Chinky,” and you get the idea. It’s always easy to say, “Ahhh, that ain’t a big deal,” if your group’s not the one being made fun of.

The above written by a user who goes by the tag, Da Xiangchang, who I’m pretty sure is a character from Street Fighter. Really interesting reading if you ask me. The real gem here is that this guy who put together the thing on Darkie referenced a website called: Toothpasteworld. Toothpasteworld is an amazing look back at one dentist’s massive collection of novelty toothpastes, which by some measures, numbers over 1400 distinct tubes of toothpaste. A truly noble pursuit.

Just Say No a Failure for Elderly and Youth

Drug use among the British elder generation and the country’s youth has soared over the past few years as discussed earlier today in the BBC.

It seems that substance use among the elderly has risen to a rampant new high. Grandparents in the UK have been observed smoking, and even GROWING marijuana. Today’s article details the story of a 68-year old grandmother, named Patricia, (perhaps an alias?) from Humshaugh, England, who has been convicted of possessing and cultivating pot. These types of charges carry serious penalties in the United States, and presumably most of the rest of the free world. Patricia manages to avoid time in the slammer, probably due to the expert legal counsel of some of the top drug law experts in the UK, and instead has been sentenced to 250 hours of community service.

She comments in the article that when the probation officers come to check on her, she’ll be slipping them some “medicated” biscuits or tea- a direct threat directed at a law enforcement agent. Be warned, this is just one of the many dangerous aging drug lords that run rampant these days.

Given this situation, it might be prudent to spend your time with a youth. Unfortunately, it appears that they too have been infiltrated by the drug economy. Use of amphetamines is up sharply amongst these Brits… by some measures 12.3% over a 3-year period.

As you might imagine, for a staunch anti-drug advocate such as myself, this all this boils down to one issue for me: Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign. It’s clear the elderly were already too involved in drugs for this to have an effect… and the youth had not been born yet. It’s obvious what we need to do to counteract this issue. A “surge” in the War on Drugs!

Cannabis Grandmother Spared Jail [BBC Online]
Use of Hyperactivity Drugs Soars [BBC Online]

“N”-Word Banned in NYC

It’s a sad day for many of us here at PBH as we learn that today, New York City, has banned the use of one of my and many of my associates favorite words: The “N”-word. I’ll spell it out in case you haven’t heard this particular euphemism: nigger. I’ll define from the urban dictionary below:

A word that everyone else is afraid to define except in utter seriousness, for fear of being branded a rascist[sic], in total ignorance of the colloquial usage of the word, its characterization in popular culture, and the populations of people it is used most by.

Urban Dictionary: Nigger

This ruling is actually quite interesting for two reasons..

1. This is probably the first time in history that a WORD has been outlawed.
2. There’s no actual penalty for using the word, thus, the rule is pointless. But I’m sure our astute readers already figured that out

Anyway, since the “N”-word has apparently been banned for casual conduct, We’ve got a great plan here. Since this was announced today, we’ll mark each and every March 1st as Nigger Day! Kool-Aid and Watermelon for all!!!

Racial Slur Banned in New York

[UPDATE] It turns out that we’ve just finished Black History month… Nigger Day! What a great way to finish that one off and get onto real biz!

Hurry up and kill yourself! For +10 EMO Points!

Aww… How cute!

We woke up to a few inches of the white stuff this morning… as the precip ended, the cleanup crews started to scour the neighborhood for a walk and driveway they could shovel for a few bucks.

I did our cleanup (we own a snowblower), but we have our own crew of workmen working on our garage today.

As usual, my racist dog growled at the black men shoveling for a buck, while she licked the hands of the white repairmen at our door. While we’re not a perfect family, we have managed to train the dog well!