The Internet: An Instrument, Not An Instigator, Of Change

Recently, an image has circulated around the web and in the process has gained quite a bit of popularity. What is it? Nothing more than Homer Simpson’s favorite food, the donut, explaining the bevy of social media outlets in which we waste an inordinate amount of time every day. Initially, the donut seems to be an odd medium through which to explain media networks, however upon further reflection the relationship between donuts and social media is quite evident: both, when consumed in excess amounts are unhealthy and make us unappealing to others.

However, in between tweeting about eating a donut and posting a Lomo-fied image of the sprinkled pastry on Instagram, it seems that displaying your pro-donut activism has somehow managed to become a new property of nearly all of the aforementioned social media sites.

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Student Faces Six Months In Prison…For Throwing Glitter At Mitt Romney

From The Chicago Tribune: A Colorado student faced misdemeanor charges on Wednesday for flinging glitter toward Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney in an increasingly frequent protest act some commentators say should be subject to prosecution.

The practice of “glitter bombing” has mainly been the domain of gay rights activists targeting Republican politicians and other public figures who oppose same-sex marriage.

But University of Colorado Boulder student Peter Smith, 20, told Reuters he threw glitter at Romney after the candidate’s speech in Colorado on Tuesday to protest against his “general political philosophy,” and not only his stance on gay marriage.

ACNN video of the incident shows Romney shaking hands with supporters in an auditorium when the glitter is thrown at him and Secret Service agents usher him away.

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Crashing Sundance: The Time I Made Bruce Willis Mad

Bruce Willis was mad at me.

He didn’t say it, but there it was: the trademark steely-eyed scowl. The one that’s reserved for Eastern European villains from the 1980s, masked gimps, and now, apparently, irksome members of the press.

“I’m a good skier,” Bruce Willis growled. “I don’t know what your cousin is talking about.”

With that, Bruce Willis stomped into the Sundance premiere for Lay The Favorite. And I was asked to leave.

I lied.

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Atheism v. Christianity: A Match You Won’t See in the Playoffs

The beginning of 2012 is one that many Americans have eagerly awaited: it is the season of shrieking expletives at inanimate objects when your favorite football team or incumbent candidate doesn’t do as well as you had anticipated. Amid these seasonal joys, some have dubbed 2012 the year of the atheist.

In spite of atheists’ growing presence on the playing field, many still see them as specters of a coming apocalypse as opposed to other participants in the same game. Amid the hoopla that surrounds the purportedly messianic Tim Tebow and the so-called satanic Bill Maher that fills many of its spectators with ire and awe, it is clear that the dialogue between theists and atheists in America is about as pleasant as a set of cymbals crashing to the floor.

2012: the Rise of Atheism in the United States

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The Worst Women Of 2011: Time To Take Out The Trash

From strong to wrong, 2011 has been a year choc-full of powerful women. But some of them have used that power only to perpetuate the panoply of reasons why people around the world are right in casting a scornful eye toward the United States. Here is 2011’s five most frightful females:

The Kardashian Klan (Mainly Kim)

Never has the letter ‘K’ been less appealing: the women of the Kardashian family consist of Kourtney, Kris, Kim, and Khloe, their published prose is kalled “Kardashian Konfidential,” and their Sears clothing is naturally dubbed the “Kardashian Kollection.” Vain, vapid, and exuding only self-congratulatory praise and grotesque amounts of wealth, clips of this family’s show should be played to galvanize impressionable youth at Al-Qaeda training camps.

While international protest movements inspired many to involve themselves more directly in political dialogue this year, the Kardashian family somehow managed to make millions of Americans actually believe they were worth “keeping up with” as well. As such, Kim Kardashian (now known for her marriage that lasted as long a loaf of bread does in a freezer) is reported to receive up to $10,000 from her sponsors for whatever mindless dross she tweets to her equally inane followers.

No, they wouldn’t have all of this acclaim without a reason: they’re “actresses” and enterprising businesswomen who catapulted themselves to tabloid fame with the leak of Kim’s sex tape, the 21st century substitute for talent and ingenuity. Nevertheless, Kim manages to give back for all of her newfound fame: shedding her business suit for sheet music, Kim recently released a single entitled “Jam (Turn It Up)” whose proceeds (or actually, just half of them) would go to the latest Kardashian Kause: cancer research. However, described by critics as “dead brained and generic,” it seems that Kardashian would have been much more charitable to everyone, cancer-ridden or not, had she kept her mouth klosed and just donated her own money to the foundation directly.

Michele Bachmann

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