The Strongest Women Of 2011

2011 has proven to be quite the dichotomous year for women. For every union-saving frau like Angela Merkel there has been a Kardashian who impetuously destroys unions of the more “sacred” ilk. For every title of “first” that IMF Managing Director Christine Lagarde tacks on to her glistening resume, there is an overbearing and neurotic mom exploiting her 4-year-old daughter to win both the title of Miss Grand Supreme and a supremely tacky tiara. From Lady Gaga to Hillary Clinton to Michele Bachmann, women have ruled the scene this year and have thus highlighted the female psyche at its best and worst. It is without further ado, then, that we bring you the strongest women of 2011.

Angela Merkel: The Iron Frau

Hailing from the formerly Communist East Germany, Chancellor Angela Merkel knows a thing or two about the importance of unity. So revered by the international community, Merkel has consistently topped the list of Forbes “Most Powerful Woman” from 2006 to 2011 (save for 2010) and has been eternalized in plastic via her 11.5-inch tall Barbie form.

Prior to becoming the Chancellor of Germany and earning the title of the longest serving leader of a G8 country, Ms. Merkel paved her way through school as a discotheque barmaid and ultimately worked toward her doctorate in quantum chemistry while living in a veritable hovel that lacked both hot water and a toilet.

Picking up fluency in Russian along the way, Merkel now works with people more obstinate than belligerent bar patrons in order to accomplish something even more arduous than the pursuit of a doctorate in science: saving the euro zone from economic collapse. Nevertheless, her cast iron resolve springs eternal and it has not gone unnoticed: a Forbes poll reports that the French have more faith in Merkel (46%) to save them from the mires of economic malaise than they do in their cher Sarkozy (33%).

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2011: A Year in Review, Part I

He didn’t know he would set himself on fire. He didn’t know he would spark revolt from Tunis to Moscow. He didn’t know dictators who never heard of him would curse his name before their own downfall.

All Mohamed Bouazizi knew when he woke up that morning was this: he had to sell fruit. Feed the family. Save up for that pick-up truck they always wanted.

He started early. A little after 8. He got the catcalls, the high fives. The early morning serenades for the Fruit Vendor Guy. Mohamed wasn’t rich. But he had lots of friends in low places. He gave the poorest families apples when he could and plums of wisdom when he couldn’t.

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Conservatives’ Contradictory Take on Christianity

The Christmas trees are skinny this year.

It’s the end of 2011: laden with recessions, lay offs, and pay cuts, no amount of tinsel or red ribbon can distract Americans from the chilling menace of impending winter or the rocky road to economic recovery that awaits. Nor can Americans be distracted from the fact that they are struggling.

One in every two Americans is either living in poverty or qualifies as low-income status. The middle class is shrinking. Conversely, salaries in Congress have only risen, as have the salaries of CEOs. As a result, in the season of giving the only things the majority of Americans receive are increased economic hardships, disappointment, and all-consuming fear. And with the thin-blanketed proposals made on behalf of so-called Christian conservatives that will hit Americans in the dead of winter, a question remains: is this really what Jesus would do?

The Vanishing Act of the Middle Class

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My Predestined Date With Shamanism

I was lucky enough to score an extra ticket to a modern shamanism class in Los Angeles. What I knew of shamanism prior to the intro course was limited at best and while I like to be spontaneous, I also like to be prepared. I tried to research the event itself but also knew that the lower expectations that I had, the better. Luckily, there wasn’t much information on the event, so I was going rogue. My friend Julie and I talked the night before to discuss our plan of attack and the car situation so that when we walked in wearing yoga pants and leggings compared to everyone else’s Levi’s and boots, we would at least be partner pariahs. And that’s exactly what happened.

Quickly disposing of our corporate Starbucks coffee cups in fear of being judged by hemp-loving, incense-burning, damn-the-Man hippies, we walked into the Manhattan Beach Marriott. The room was markedly less Marriott than anticipated: an ambiance that consisted of a 30-chair circle and a maraca rattling, rain stick thrusting, and indigenous Amazonian drum pounding ditty awaited us.

In the car, Julie joked that it was going to be one of those, “I see your light, and I appreciate you” workshops and it seemed to be the case. For a hot second I thought I’d be a real jackass and use this as an excuse to practice my comedic repertoire on the cheap. I’d play the straight man and ask the shaman questions as if he were a World of Warcraft expert: Do you throw lightning bolts? Can you see into the world of spirits and communicate with creatures invisible to eyes of mere mortals? When did you discover this other realm? On Draenor, now shattered Outland, the orcs were shamanistic; on Azeroth, trolls and tauren were shamanistic. Though shamanism on Azeroth flourished and still continues to, shamanism on Draenor was all but extinct by the time of the great crossing of the Horde into Azeroth via the Dark Portal. Your thoughts, sir?

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The Right’s Absurd Fight Against Children’s Entertainment

Picture this: a United States where school cafeteria workers lackadaisically dump “vegetable” paste onto the mystery meat du jour while 9-year-old janitors wipe up the debris in an effort to showcase their budding work ethic and sanitary savvy. A United States where smiling creatures of the puppet and Pixar ilk have long been collecting dust as a consequence of their blatant and shameful promotion of Marxist collectivism, environmental responsibility and intercultural tolerance. A United States where the only remaining puppets are the ones on Capitol Hill.

Sound a bit far fetched? That’s because it is. However, as hyperbole seems to have the growing conservative base in a veritable chokehold as of late, that is precisely where the right wing wants the United States to be headed.

According to more vocal members of today’s GOP, the children’s movie “Cars 2” wrongfully and absurdly pits the oil industry as its villain and “Happy Feet 2” is not a children’s film about pirouetting penguins but rather the United States potentially bailing out Greece amid its financial crisis.

Trading Hollywood for the Hill, in his efforts to repeal “stupid” child labor laws and encourage hard work presidential primary hopeful Newt Gingrich wants to dole out extra mops instead of extra credit. Meanwhile, the GOP-led Congress recently bowed its head once again to food industries in deeming pizza sauce a vegetable while the nation is in the throes of a childhood obesity epidemic.

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