The Many Faces Of A Pissed-Off Michelle Obama

NB: all of these were taken when Mitch McConnell was in the room.

my latest masturbation fantasy

oh so you’re related to Ed Norton eh?
that must be sooo cool
so tell me, what are some of his favorite hobbies?
does he like:
moonlit walks on the beach?
does he like:
candlelit dinners for two?
because I do
I do.
tell him I do.
will you do that for me?
the next time you see him
at your other uncle’s wedding?
can you tell him I think of him daily and that I know that if he just gave us a chance it could really work I mean really work
we could become us could become one
tell him I love his movies
wait, where are you going?
I thought we had something, the two of us…

Admin’s Missive

Sorry we went down on you so hard last night, Mother’s Day brings it out of us.

Where can I sign up?

My Pain Is All Too Palpable (Or Mockable)

I’ve Left My Haltingly Awkward Voice Message; Now The Ball’s In Her Court:

As a single guy who’s gotten out there a fair amount, I’ve learned how to play the game. The way I see it, if someone’s interested, great. If not, no skin off my nose. Take last night: I got the number of this hot young thing at a bar and decided to give her a call. And now that I’ve left my painfully uncomfortable six-minute-long voice message on her cell, I’m not going to waste my time obsessing over my next move. The ball’s in her court.

If she wants to make the next move and return my panicked and barely coherent phone message, that’s fine by me. If not, she can take a hike.

How do they always know?!?! 🙁