simply hilarious

True Story

There were sprinkles in her eyes, but I couldn’t notice, too lost was I in candy-coated thoughts of a land where the girls danced on striped sugar poles and the kisses they blew were chocolate. Pyramids give way to skyscrapers and time moves on like a golden river where one taste is never the same as the next. Still I wish I had thought to cross her more with more wit. It wasn’t till later that I thought about how grandely I could have sprinkled myself in her. Sweet sugar drunk together, dreaming of worlds that hadn’t existed till we spoke the words silently together star gazing in a field of coffee beans and fairies. Too saccharine thoughts of love when really all I could think to say was, “my mint mocha’s grande too, babe.” She would never buy my magic beans, roasted in the heat of unfulfilled desire, ground under the weight of self-made promises broken. Feeling like the ass instead of the juan, slumped down I just moved on to the next barrista at the next java shack, with a sprinkle in her eye and minty disposition.

White… Chocolate??

black boi looking to suck his first white cock – 29

never had a white cock in my throat… been dreaming about it… Me: 6’6 240# brn/brn smooth and attractive. You: height/weight proportionate with nice cock. maybe you’ll force my face into your ass?? Host only later tonight… verbally aggressive is a PLUS…

Inster Fashion Waves in Washington DC

First birthed in middle America, then it hit New York City, and now Inster has arrived in Washington DC. We caught up with the hottest new inster trends in the heart of Dupont Circle, where the fashionistas were enjoying mixed company and Zima’s.

We begin with the victim (left) coupled with the lurking presence of English shark (right).

And with the flash of the camera, the drunken heterosexual pounces for attention, slowly nibbling the buttons off of the victims shirt:

Oh no! The aggressor has succeeded, with the victim left helpless, leaving him only the option of showing off his bountiful chest hair to the awaiting public:

Pathetically pasty torsos exposed, art is once declared the victor while illegally attained Broken Social Scene plays in the background:

The night and photoshoot ends with funny glasses and the exuberance of a job well done. Hand jobs in the bathroom stalls for all:

Hot for Step-Mom

Something is in the water today, because I’m feeling more horny for my inlaws then ever:

I’m a 17-year-old male with a tickling fetish and I don’t have a problem with it. It just gets me off to tickle women. So why am I writing to you? My parents divorced when I was 13 and I live with my dad since my mom moved away. Six months ago, my dad married a 29-year-old woman. A few months ago, I tickled her armpit when she reached up into a cupboard. She didn’t pull away and seemed to enjoy it. Surprisingly, she also has a tickling fetish on the opposite end. She loves it when a man tickles her. She now walks around the house barefoot and with skimpy clothing so that her stomach and ribs are exposed so I can tickle her whenever I want.

However, we always do it behind my dad’s back. I would NEVER do this with my real mother. (That’s sick.) But with a stepmom, is it okay? I’m starting to feel guilty about doing this without my dad’s knowledge.

And if you thought Savage Love was good, wait until you see Cary Tennis take on some serious in-family loving:

I’m a 35-year old stepmom and mother of a 5-year-old daughter. I find myself attracted to my 17-year-old stepson and, more worrisome, I think he is attracted to me. He lives with his father and me half the time and with his mother the other half. I’ve been in his life since he was 9 and his brother was 7, and we’re pretty much a blended-family success story. Everyone gets along, my stepsons are both great kids, and my daughter worships her brothers. My husband and I love each other and are good partners in working as a team, taking care of the kids, home, work, extended family, etc., though “marital relations” are close to nonexistent, due partly to the usual stress and partly to my husband’s low libido.

The kid I used to know has grown into a charming and attractive young man who looks even older than his age. He’s tall, dark and handsome.

I’m sure I can’t be the only stepparent, male or female, who must try to quell feelings of attraction to an attractive teen stepchild. I mean, we’re human. I wasn’t worried about suppressing my own previously fleeting feelings of this nature until recently, when we seem to be catching each other’s eyes more, and he seems to be making efforts to be around me more than he needs to, bringing up casual topics of conversation, just so we can spend more time talking. I find myself wanting to do that too, and thinking of him when I shut my eyes at night.

Mmm mmm! Makes my mouth so yummy.