How did they know?

Google is creeping further and further into my life. Or at least my hard drive.

The Kind of Rube that Votes Republican

Wiggum: Shut your word hole! We’ve got to get this place clean for the air show.
Bob: Air show? Buzz-cut Alabamians spewing colored smoke from their whiz jets to the strains of “Rock You Like A Hurricane?” What kind of countrified rube is still impressed by that?

May 18, 2006

7. pearl harbor

To be screwed by one’s Asian peers.

2. butt hurt

easily offended when one takes something too personally

some one who doesnt know how to take a joke, and they take the joke like they just took it to the ass

Jean Shorts Expo

From a WP Chat:

Dupont Circle, Washington, D.C.: Just a quick note to the O’s fans coming down for the games this weekend — at the D.C. Armory on Saturday and Sunday they are having a giant jeans-shorts expo. You might want to skip the game and stock up on these Baltimore summer fashion staples, for the Nats are going to give your team a terrific drubbing!!

Girl Facts Of The Day

Do you like Sex and the City? Do you enjoy mundane conversation? Are you of average appearance and thought? Then this essay is for you:

“How do women’s minds work?”

Try this question on any man: All you’ll get for an answer is a
shrugging of shoulders along with a puzzled facial expression. The one
thing neither rocket scientists nor astrophysicists will ever be able
to comprehend is how women think and feel. Bill Watterson’s eternal
six-year old Calvin (from “Calvin & Hobbes”), no smart scholar, but
the epitome of the self-assured yet forever puzzled boy, summarizes
his incomprehension of the opposite gender: “What is it like to be a
girl? Is it like being a bug? I imagine bugs and girls have a dim
perception that nature has played a cruel trick on them, but they lack
the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it!”

In reality it is, of course, the other way around. Nature has played a
cruel trick on men – rather than on women. Men’s minds, for the most
part, work along a single longitudinal path: A triggers B, B triggers
C and so forth. They consider themselves to be smart, because they are
barely able to grasp causal chains. Men’s intelligence is expressed by
the extent to which they can estimate or predict a sequence of steps
in a chain reaction. Like chess players, some men can think one or two
steps ahead, some seven or eight. Alternatives to their
one-dimensional, allegedly “logical” path of thinking are beyond their
imagination.

Womens minds, on the other hand, are much more complex. Women embrace
several different natures in their personality. In addition to the
men’s straightforward “logical” way of thinking, they (according to C.
G. Jung) incorporate a personification of the unconscious
counter-sexual image, in other words the inner man in a woman. This
archetype encompasses a number of instincts that are quite useful in
supplementing a woman’s emotions. In addition, women’s minds embrace a
third governing force, the so-called “shadow”, a counter-image of
their true character. The working-type woman, for instance, can
identify with the feelings of a spoiled tootsie. A woman who has run
expeditions in Ethiopia, Somalia and Afghanistan all her life, can
suddenly become flustered at the run of a nylon stocking. What makes
women so unfathomable to men is that they can leap in a split second
from one level of their personality to the other. As a consequence,
that charming lady you are flirting with suddenly turns into a
sharp-tongued businesswoman, only to react like a helpless college
girl in the next moment. It would be asking too much of a man’s mind,
being merely a simplified, incomplete version of a woman’s mind, to be
able to comprehend this kind of complexity in the opposite gender.

Of course, one might argue that men also incorporate an anima and a
shadow in their personality. So what? The effect of all three
personalities is still the same: A unilateral drive towards ambition,
competition and ultimately triumph. Let’s face it: We men are
pathetically simple minded. How simple minded? Swiss author Melina
Moser knows the answer. She lists the only three things men need to be
happy: Admiration, oral sex and freshly pressed orange juice.