Jerk off scenes, finger bangs, and blogs.

Oh shit bitch, we’re back, black, and obscener than ever. Let’s jump right into the action.

Kreepie kats kreepie kats! This is only noteworthy because your’s truly, Alexander P. Blogger Dupont, added probably the best comment to this discussion:

A rape scene?? Bush league. I just saw Little Children, which featured not one, but two, jerk off scenes, including one where a woman was in close proximity and crying. Someone’s got to raise the ante.

Nothing’s better a part from referencing jerk off scenes, than effacing BLOG ENTRIES about the timidity and stupidity of the MSM (mainstream media, for you non-blog sluts). Check out DealBreaker’s decomposition of Emmit Smith, who probably is still recovering from hanging out with Michael Irvin’s coke habits. Apparently Emmit Smith has enough money to warrant an in depth report of his investments, courtesy of Fortune.

From the Fortune Article:

“Smith’s interest in real estate began during his days in Pop Warner football in Pensacola, when he sometimes stayed at the home of his coach the night before a game. The 3,500-square-foot house was no mansion, but it was enough to impress a young man who lived in a public housing project, the Courts, with his mother and four siblings.”

Translated for us plebeians by DealBreaker….

Smith liked big houses when he was a kid. Well, I’m ready to invest! That’s like saying Smith’s interest in football began when his dad fumbled him down the stairs when he was a newborn.

The point is that football players rule, and you geeks better get the fuck out of the way. Yah, you. You think Johnny Football Hero knows what a god damn blog is? Slim chance. Now, while you think of this, check out the 10 most embarrassing geek photos, which unfortunately does not include someone beating off to World of Warcraft. They would probably do better if they just tried dressing up as robots.

Anyway kids, stay made prayed up, inject lots of coke, talk shit about the British, and let’s all do our part to bring slavery back. Oh, and apparently Chris Brown has AIDS and the Moonnites caused Boston to freak out.