Truthful Taglines for Summer Blockbusters

Remember that thing that J.J. Abrams did that wasn’t a huge disappointment? No, not that one. No, not that one either.

That’s right we made three of them. Fuck you.

Do you want to see a Nazi get punched in the face? Hell yeah you do. Well that kind of shit happens all the time in this movie.

If you see one film this summer that makes you ashamed of wanting to make hot, sweet love to someone you first saw when they were 8 years old, make it this one.

She’s bad and she’s a teacher!

Alternate tagline: See it because we took the time to marginally improve on the original title “Shitty Comedy (movie).”

A green ring brought him power, now he does some stuff. You’ll see it for some reason.

Come on, we made Wall-E for Christ’s sake. Oh, like everything you do is a fucking masterpiece? Asshole.

Hold on, just spitballing here, but what about Paul Blart…….with a gorilla!

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