TV rots your brain, commercials rot your soul

I, too must confess my weakness for vapid reality television programming–my guiltiest pleasure being Laguna Beach. However, equally entertaining–to me, at least–are the commercials that fill the gaps between the footage of those kids being rich and attractive together. My favorite is the one for Valtrex, which features an attractive, soft-voiced woman who posits: “Dealing with genital herpes can be a real hassle.” I crack up every time. A hassle is mislaying your keys or picking the wrong line in the supermarket checkout. An incurable STD, the symptoms of which include painful burning and oozing pustules–that’s a fucking disaster! Why are the people in these commercials always hiking or running on a beach? For accuracy’s sake, shouldn’t they been shown on their knees in the stall of some gas station bathroom? I guess maybe that wouldn’t make for such a good ad.

New Calendar

I am officially moving away from the Jeudo-Christian calendar to the French Revolution calendar.

This is because the French chopped off the heads of clergy and nobles, and also because I am an elitist liberal prick.

Today is 12 Vendémiaire CCXIV.

TV rots your brain

Sadly I am destined to be overweight and perform patheticly in school. If only we had known! Life is a cruel joke

Vin Diesel is better than YOU!!

Vin Diesel likes his coffee like he likes his women – Colombian and crushed into powder.

and other fun facts about the greatest threat to humanity since the bush administration

Vin Diesel

life is and always will be unfair

so i’ve been goaded into putting pen to paper for this humble site by the admins and i’ve been thinking about a chance encounter that recently occured in my apartment

so my roommate meets some girl on myspace. i live in new york- apparently it’s easy to meet other “like-minded” individuals on these social networking sites. not that i’d partake in these… heavily.

he claims he brought this lass to a local watering hole one evening last week and proceeded to enjoy a few bevvies with her. things went well, she asked “so what’s next?” and he popped her the proverbial HBI

as this happened in my impossibly intimate apartment, it was three feet away from me in his partitioned-off section of the living room- but i was blissfully passed out…

now today we’re doing our usual thing and i inquire as to the status of said lass. he says, well, she called over the weekend but i wasn’t that interested- we’re not that compatible. i was surprised- compatible? didn’t he bring her out to drinks and then quickly back to our place for a passionate night of which i was no part?

yes he replied, but she didn’t have any skills he was interested in. you know, computer hacking skills, dj skills, ninja skills

i mean, whats the point of having a relationship (or even just meaningless myspace internet sex) with a person like that?