Surrendering The War On Drugs

The Article: The Truce On Drugs by Benjamin Wallace-Wells in NY Magazine.

The Text: Cannabis is a highly persuadable plant. It thrives in Afghanistan; it grows beautifully in Mexico. It can prosper indoors or outdoors, in contained environments or expansive ones. Even on the essentials, like soil, light, and water, accommodations can be made. Cannabis in the wild will flower only once a year, early in the fall, but it can be tricked. Indoors, artificial light can be timed to mimic the patterns of the early sunsets of autumn, seducing the plant to bud; outside, the same effect is achieved by laying parabolic tarps, each shaped like the St. Louis arch, over the crop to obscure the sun. Nor does cannabis require expert botanists. There is a pattern that has been showing up in the criminal courts of Northern California in which a day laborer, often an illegal immigrant, is picked up for work, driven to tend a marijuana garden growing deep in Mendocino National Forest, and told that he is now in the employ of the Mexican Mafia. The guess, locally, is that the Mexican Mafia is not really involved, that this is just a ghost story to make sure the laborers stay put. But still, an untrained day laborer hired at Home Depot is all you need to manage a large crop. He’ll do fine.

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The Most Outrageous And Offensive Things That Rush Limbaugh Has Ever Said

Rush Limbaugh Quotes Mexicans

Serving as radio’s primary Troglodyte-in-Residence, Rush Limbaugh beds with racism and bathes in misogyny. Here’s some of the most sour swill that has escaped the conservative pundit’s jowls:

Rush Limbaugh Quotes Obama

Rush Limbaugh Quotes Michael J Fox

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Romney’s Infamous ’47 Percent’ Includes The Wealthy

The Article: Buffett Says Wealthy Avoiding Taxes Among Romney’s 47 Percent by Susanna Pak in Bloomberg News.

The Text: Warren Buffett, the billionaire investor, said the ability of some of the highest earners to avoid federal taxes shows why laws should be changed so the wealthy pay more.

“They were the moochers, and they paid zero,” Buffett, the chairman of Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (BRK/A), said today in an interview on MSNBC. “The way they get at them is a minimum tax and it’s very simple to do.”

Buffett is pressing his call for a minimum tax on incomes above $1 million as lawmakers seek to avoid the so-called fiscal cliff, which would impose more than $600 billion in tax increases and spending cuts starting in January. He said in a New York Times opinion piece yesterday that higher taxes on the wealthy won’t thwart investment.

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The Trillion-Dollar Coin: Absurdly Right Or Just Absurd?

In an effort to curtail yet another DC shit show in February (re: once routine debt ceiling lifts now left in the hands of a recalcitrant GOP-led Congress whose idea of fiscal responsibility starts and stops at complete economic collapse), some speculate that the treasury might just print a one trillion dollar platinum coin to pay its bills. Your thoughts?

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The Best Theories On Everything: Volume One

Best Theories On Everything

The Communicating With The Opposite Sex Theories

The “She Asks, Does This Make Me Look Fat?” Theory: Smile sweetly and say, “Nothing could make you look fat.”

WARNING: Any variation from this answer may result in death by impalement.

The “She Says, Nothing Is Wrong” Theory: She means, everything is. All hands on deck. We’re at DEFCON 5. 

The “He/She Doesn’t Answer Your Call” Theory: Leave a text. Not a voicemail message. It never comes out well. And long rambling voice mails lead people to do crazy things. “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm” creator Larry David once broke into a girl’s apartment to delete a particularly meandering message.

Americans born after 1977 are allergic to voicemail. Text. And keep it short. Texting should be Hemingway, not Dickens.

But be careful:

Relationship Theories Text

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