Why People Like U2 Concerts

Stunningly accurate:

Big Market

Imagine you’re a middle-aged, upper-middle class male.You live in a large metropolitan area. You have a good job. Your wife does Pilates. Your oldest just started Kindergarten. Yes, you’re an adult but you’re still cool! Your jeans cost $125. Sometimes you wear sneakers with a blazer!

You like the idea of being a guy who’s “into live music” but the last few concerts you’ve been to were a) too loud b) too crowded c) too foreign (you’re lucky if you recognize one song). Yes, you’ll snap a few photos with your smartphone and tell your bros about it to get some street cred but let’s face it – you didn’t enjoy yourself. There are millions of you. And you’re willing to drop cash to have a concert make you feel cool again.

Product Market Fit

Then you learn that U2 is coming to town – U2! Earnest, melodic, Oprah-endorsed U2! $200 a ticket? No problem. You get a sitter. Your wife is excited – this is going to be great! You invite some friends from college to join you.

On the way, you listen to the “early stuff”. Joshua Tree pumps through the speakers of your Lexus SUV (no judgement – you have two kids!). The harmonies soothe. The lyrics are straightforward. You recall a simpler time before car seats and prostate exams. The nostalgia is so thick you have to wipe it from your face. You haven’t looked at your phone in nearly 11 minutes.

You arrive at the show and see yourself everywhere. Tasteful North Face and Patagonia jackets abound. The stands are awash in earth tones. No one is shoving. No one has a nose ring. These are your people.

Usability

The band begins with A SONG YOU RECOGNIZE! You’re on your feet. You’re drinking “craft” beer. Everyone is singing terribly.

And here’s the best the part – YOU CAN DANCE HERE! 80,000 people surround you and there’s not a coordinated movement in sight. Even the band sets a low bar. Bono doesn’t so much dance as lunge and bounce. The other guys seem content to nod and rock. All around you, middle-aged people are rocking and lunging and bouncing and singing badly. Is that guy wearing Tod’s loafers and a Barbour jacket? Yes he is. And he’s in the zone.

The set is basically a greatest hits playlist. The band graciously performs two new songs that no one recognizes to give you a few minutes to use the john and grab another IPA. They might as well flash an intermission sign.

Even the political statements go down smooth: “Democracy!” “Fight AIDS!” How could you possibly disagree? You’re not only dancing and reminiscing – you’re spreading freedom and reasonably-priced medicines to distant lands!

And the kicker: not one but TWO encores, the ones you know best – the ones you first heard that summer you painted houses or kissed Katie at the beach party or whatever. You’re closing your eyes now. This is sad and sweet. You put your arm around your wife. You’re wondering if Katie ever got married. A third of the crowd departs after the first encore. It’s no big deal – some of us have work in the morning! Anyway, the traffic will be better if everyone doesn’t leave at once.

America Is For Americans

Or, American nationalism in a nut shell:

Thanks y’all… This next song is about how much I love the French Statue of Liberty, the English language, German food, and the Spanish guitar. It’s called “America is For Americans.”

The Five Major Accomplishments Of The Tea Party

On the bloody battlefields of World War II, soldiers would refer to a confusing, messy, and all-out hopeless situation as a “clusterfuck“. It is perhaps appropriate then that this word has become the most apt in describing modern American politics—the only difference is the House of Representatives doesn’t get as bloody as we might like it to. So it was something of a relief when the Tea Party showed up.

Regardless of one’s political affiliations, at least here was a pure, grass roots (cough) manifestation of the people’s frustration at their cynical, self-serving representatives. For a while leading up to the 2010 midterm elections, it seemed as if something akin to a third political party had finally emerged in American politics. Of course, everyone regarded this as more of a schism in the Republican Party than a legitimate uprising, but actions speak louder than Reuters’ polls, so why don’t we look at what the improbably-elected “Tea Party Candidates” have managed to accomplish.

Accomplishment Number One: Nothing. (No, Seriously).

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There Will Only Be One Shaq

When Shaquille O’Neal announced via Twitter that he was retiring. the game of basketball lost one of its best players. His statistics are overwhelming: O’Neal was on four NBA championship teams and was the 1993 Rookie of the Year, 2000 Most Valuable Player, a three-time Finals MVP, a 15 time All-Star, a three-time All-Star Game MVP, and has 14 All-NBA selections and three NBA All-Defensive Team selections under his belt. He scored 28,596 points (seventh most in NBA history), 13,099 rebounds (13th), .582 field-goal percentage (1st) and 2,732 blocks (8th). But the numbers don’t do the player or the personality justice.

When Shaq entered the league as the No. 1 overall pick by the Orlando Magic in the 1992 NBA Draft, everyone knew he’d be a beast. There were what could only be called viral videos of Shaq furiously dunking on any and everyone. He was a one-man wrecking crew and backboards around the country feared him.

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Man O’ Man You’re My Best Friend

Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros off of Up From Below.