Why I Gave My Dad Geese For Christmas

I thought about giving my dad a water buffalo. Or a pig. But neither smacked of the holidays. A camel was tempting but, at $800, out of my price range. And so I settled on a flock of geese.

I don’t think my dad particularly liked the gift. Especially compared to the iPad from his girlfriend. But, I figured, it would be more creative than the World War II books I usually got him. And besides, my family kind of owed the Animal Kingdom.

After the incident.

Continue Reading

Dr. Octagon

Back in the late 90’s, while you were still grasping onto the rotting corpse of grunge, the rest of us were moving on to new genres of music that didn’t involve grown boys in slacks. Enter Dr. Octagon, the extraterrestrial time traveling gynecologist and surgeon alter-ego of rapper Kool Keith. The result would be the 1996 release one of the greatest albums of all time (all time!), Dr. Octagonecologyst. In the videos below, you can experience Halfsharkalligatorhalfman and the amoebic ambiance of Blue Flowers.

in celebration of a less-than-triumphant return

ill come back again
ill get money again
ill get funny again
and you’ll want me back again

finito mussolini

I’m Not Fucking Around

Sufjan Stevens – I Want To Be Well off the album The Age of Adz

Why Cam Newton Proves College Players Should Be Paid

If there is one lesson to be taken from the Heisman trophy won by Cam Newton, it is that amateurism, the one component that separates the NFL and NCAA, doesn’t mean much. Now, don’t blame Cam Newton or his dad, because the NCAA system exists to promote “amateurism,” which is basically code for unpaid indentured servitude.

The NCAA has developed the best possible economic scenario: national exposure of its product, insane revenues, and virtually zero expenditure on payroll. Since its inception, the NCAA has exploited its workhorses with an egregious lack of concern for its participants. In one particularly damning example, the NCAA went so far as to develop a new designation for athletes in order to avoid Workers Compensation claims.

Continue Reading