Liveblogging The Barack-o-Mercial

7:53: Welcome one and all, we’re live blogging this mother fucker up!

7:57: Fuck! Technical problems… must be able to watch this.

7:58: Order restored. Except we are hearing nothing but loud buzzing. This is nothing compared to Hussein’s angelic voice.

8:00: It begins! Barack Obama loves America… and white people…. and the occasional black person.

8:01: Look at all that rich mahogany. What a man.

8:02: What’s that pin on his shoulder? Is that an Israeli flag?

8:02: Fuck is this hokey. Fuck is this cheesy. Where are the graphs???? I demand Ross Perot graphs!!!!!

8:03: Operations, blah blah blah. Here is a surgery you should consider: a vasectomy. Stop pumping out kids!

8:04: WordPress is not optimal for live blogging.

8:04: Mmmmmmm free market optimism! Tastes like economic inequality.

8:06: Yes! 9/11 has already been mentioned! Terrorists – 1, America – 0.

8:07: You earned your pension old man! Now do the rest of us a favor and throw yourself a building. Your life is getting expensive for America.

8:07: Get those corporations! And no more jobs for Mexicans and foreigners!

8:08: Here comes anecdote number 2. More working class people with working class problems. And this one is black and plays the guitar. It just feels so… FOLKSY!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

8:09 12 different medications a day. You in a competition with my girlfriend? How many of those are natural breast enhancers?

8:10: Is this about Barack Obama or how much life is starting to suck in America? “But Daddy, I wanted to live in America where I could get a job with little to no skills and happily live a life where my arteries were clogged with Middle Eastern oil!”

8:11: Oh shit! It’s the Planeteer version of energy policy. And it can’t be outsourced, because they don’t have the sun in India.

8:13: Oh shit, Iraq has a surplus. And they better pay up, cuz this war of sweet liberation is not free, you Arab terrorist Al-Qaedas!!!

8:14: Rocket fuel for small-businesses, which is rocket fuel for the economy. And once this is all over, we’ll use our rocket fuel to propel us into the future, or at least onto the moon.

8:15: God damnit. Another peak into everyday Americana. When are they going to kick in the Death Cab for Cutie with forlorn looks out the window?

8:16: Barack Obama’s father — Darkness everybody! Darkness has entered the building.

8:17: An army of new teachers. I hope they’re the ones we send to Iran.

8:17: Oh shit! Our live feed went down! 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11!!! AHHHHH!!!

8:18: Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Buffering. Siiiighhh.

8:19: We’re back, Barack Obamas Mom. This is actually pretty good. The first time tonight this has not felt like a stage prop.

8:20: And it’s over. Bible quotes and laughing with the family. You think he spanks em? I’d like to see that. Barack Obama spanking some children. Real hard.

8:21: Oh Joe Biden. You’re so dreamy. It must be those hair plugs. And that Horatio Alger storyline.

8:23: Kentucky! American Dream. Pies. Houses. Now he works once every two weeks and can’t stop eating grits.

8:24: This is our moment. And our moment is not fucking pretty.

8:25: PBH Editorial Board member and designer Kit is masturbating to Obama. Not kidding.

8:26: It’s all about the children. And freedom. And Free Masons in coal mines.

8:27: Yikkity yak. Story of America.

8:27: Bizarro Bearded Bill Richardson. Bizarro bizarro bizarro.

8:28: I’m sold, Barack Obama’s got my vote. Once again, terrorists — 2, America — 0.

8:28: Ut oh, I think I just heard something deflate. And that something is John McCain’s campaign.

8:29: Is this live? People sure do go ape-shit about tuition.

8:30: Text message for the next President of the United States! It’s either him or Clay Aiken.

8:30: It’s over! I think this was the most offensive 30 minutes of my life. Initial recap: is that it?

Young, Female, Republican, And Inspired By A Complete Moron

Today’s New York Times has a fairly generic ‘some young women are inspired by Sarah Palin because she has a vagina just like them’ article today entitled Young, Republican and Inspired by Palin. All standard fare, save for this:

Nathalie Snapp, 25, a doctoral candidate at Harvard, where she studies chemical physics, said: “I do very much identify with her as someone who has pursued having both a career and a family. I also really want both.”

What.the.fack. You’re getting a DOCTORATE IN CHEMICAL PHYSICS AT HARVARD…. and YOU LOOK UP TO SARAH “I THINK FRUIT FLIES ARE STUPID AND SO IS MEDICAL RESEARCH” PALIN? Are you serious? People should be looking up to you, Nathalie Snapp, instead of you admiring an over-publicized and proudly-ignorant hillbilly from Alaska.

I mean, come the fuck on, is Sarah Palin some beacon of hope for females everywhere? “Oh look at Sarah Palin, she pumped out 5 retard babies and 2 of them will become fodder for roadside bombs in Iraq!!!! I can now be everything I ever wanted to be!!!!” Big deal, by the way! She has kids and a job! You know who also does that? Bears. And seagulls. And Rosie O’Donnell.

PS. If you read this and want to get with me, because being publicly ridiculed turns you on, send me an email.

[tags]new york times, ny times, Young, Female, Republican, And Inspired By A Complete Moron, young republicans inspired by sarah palin, sarah palin inspirational, working women, nathalie snapp, doctoral candidate, harvard[/tags]

Sheppard Smith Takes On Joe the Plumber

Sheppard: Why specifically is a vote for Obama a vote for the death of Israel?

Joe: Well specifically, look at his record. Obama’s agreed to meet with Israel’s enemies with no uncertain terms.. In fact he’s letting them dictate terms to him and then look at his past associations, people he talks to…

Sheppard: Like who?

Joe: Quite honestly, you know, the gentleman that approached me with that question I agreed to with what I know…

Sheppard: What I can’t figure our is why, let’s listen to this clip from earlier.

Q: A vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel. I’ss guarantee you that.

Joe: Well, you know what? I’ll actually agree with you on that one. I agree with you. I really think that would be a problem.

Sheppard: Joe, do you know Barack Obama’s positions on Israel?

Joe: Ahhh, listen, I know you want to really get some answers on this one, I’m just not going to help you out here Sheppard. Let people go out and find it issues….

Hey, a baseless claim supported by absolutely no facts! Sounds like the 2008 Republican campaign in a nutshell to me.

See Also: Sheppard Smith blasts Joe the Plumber for saying a vote for Obama means death to Israel, CNN: Religious extremists use fear tactics against Obama, Joe The Plumber: Foreign Relations Expert, Political tidbits: Joe the Plumber takes on the Middle East and Shepard Smith is appalled, Joe The Plumber: A Vote For Obama Is A Vote For The Death Of Israel, Joe The Fraud says Obama means end of on Israel, admits not knowing Obama policy on Israel, It Takes Chutzpa to Question Obama’s Commitment to Israel, Fox interviews Joe the Plumber on Israel, Why Are They Still Allowed On TV?, and This Pro-choice Jewish Democrat is for McCain.

[tags]joe the plumber, israel, death to israel, isreal, hamas, hezbollah, terrorists, barack obama, muslims, arabs, sheppard smith, fox news, interview[tags]

The Sauds Bring The Taliban To The Peace Table, And The West Should Too

Two weeks ago in Mecca, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia hosted talks between the Afghani government and the Taliban to begin dialogue on reconciliation between the two parties and reintroducing a large segment of the population into national institutions. Against the grain of American/NATO policy, the Sauds have once again been forced to go behind Western backs to seek stability in the region.

The situation seems oddly familiar — one side heralded by the West as part of long-term Middle East democratization, the other derided as a destabilizing, rogue organization that must be excluded at all costs. In February of 2007, the Sauds brought together Fatah and Hamas in spite of fervent American activity to remove Hamas from power, including direct coup attacks in Gaza. Though the Palestinian Unity government would hastily collapse, it showed that ‘radicalized’ elements could be brought into governing coalitions in the Middle East.

Like Hamas, the Talibans support is broad-based and entrenched within the socio-political fabric. The forceful strategy of NATO has isolated the Taliban to some degree but has failed to remove supporters or impact its activities, specifically in the Southeast provinces of Afghanistan. With the increased militant activity of the Taliban against infrastructure, any economic development that could potentially decrease the patronage of militant organizations is stymied.

Indeed, top officials in NATO are admitting that the Afghani war is not winnable via military tactics. Brigadier Mark Carleton-Smith, Britain’s top military officer in Afghanistan, has said, “We’re not going to win this war.” At best, he says, international troops can hope to reduce it “to a manageable level of insurgency that’s not a strategic threat.”

For a viable Afghan state to emerge, elements of the Taliban must be engaged and some enveloped into a governing coalition. Lacking the will power and capability to destroy the Taliban by conventional military means, the West must seek out alternative methods of stabilizing Afghanistan. With direct diplomatic talks and promoting carrots over sticks, the West foster development within Afghanistan and allow for future political and social stability.

Sources

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/23612315/how_we_lost_the_war_we_won/print

Saudi hosts Afghan peace talks with Taliban reps, CNN

Solving the Problems of Afghanisan, The Economist

Facing Reality in Afghanistan: Talking with the Taliban, Time

The Coming Change of Course in Afghanistan

See Also: The Woe In Afghanistan, A Grand Bargain In Afghanistan?, Talking To The Taliban, A New Strategy for Afghanistan, Germany Renews Afghanistan Mandate, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Agree To Talk To Taliban, Al-Qaeda’s Progression On Pakistan’s Demise, Two Daring Attacks on US Troops in Afghanistan, Afghanistan/Pakistan: Talks with Taliban, US Air Strikes, NATO Hits its Limit, Bringing Freedom to Afghanistan, and US Changing Course, now Willing to Talk With Taliban.

[tags]taliban, taleban, peace talks, afghanistan, saudi arabia, sustained peace, dialogue, us-led government, united states, diplomacy, southeast afghanistan, southwest afghanistan, pakistan, talibani forces, stability[/tags]

Sarah Palin Continues To Be The Most Disliked Candidate Of The 2008 Election

The maverick independent hockey pitbull lady seems to be good at one thing and one thing only — completely alienating independent voters from supporting the John McCain campaign:

A majority of likely voters in a new Washington Post-ABC News national poll now have unfavorable views of the Alaska governor, most still doubt her presidential qualifications and there is an even split on whether she “gets it,” a perception that had been a key component of her initial appeal.

In polling conducted Wednesday and Thursday evenings, after the disclosure that the Republican National Committee used political funds to help Palin assemble a wardrobe for the campaign, 51 percent said they have a negative impression of her. Fewer, 46 percent, said they have a favorable view. That marks a stark turnaround from early September, when 59 percent of likely voters held positive opinions.

The declines in Palin’s ratings have been even more substantial among the very voters Republicans aimed to woo. The percentage of white women viewing her favorably dropped 21 points since early September; among independent women, it fell 24 points.

More broadly, the intensity of negative feelings about Palin is also notable: Forty percent of voters have “strongly unfavorable” views, more than double the post-convention number. Nearly half of independent women now see her in a very negative light, a nearly threefold increase.

[Via Washington Post]

See Also: John McCain’s Mistake, sarah palin is a celebrity, I youda ast me, I could toldja, Spot The Difference, Riding the “Redistribution” Railroad into the Gutter, Pawlenty Would Have Been A Better Pick, The Palin-McCain Conflict, Palin talks clothes, Update from the swing voter, Sarah Palin: Give me the severed foreleg of the wolf, and “Even Female Conservative Pundits Embrace Palin Bashing”.

[tags]sarah palin, unfavorability ratings, disliked ratings, intense dislike, strongly unfavorable views of sarah palin, approval ratings, disapproval ratings, sarah palin vice presidential nominee, republican, nobody likes sarah palin, independent voters, unfavorable ratings, public polls[/tags]