Libby Legal Defense Trust For Well-Groomed Sycophants

Do you just DREAM of the day when you can bail out Scooter Libby? Now you can:

Mary Matalin former assistant to President George W. Bush and counselor to Vice President Dick Cheney, is sending out letters requesting donations to the “Libby Legal Defense Trust.”

“Will you join me in helping support a good conservative, a true patriot, and a loyal friend who has come under attack? His name is Lewis Libby. But everyone calls him “Scooter.'”

After many years in government he doesn’t have near enough savings to pay for the effective defense he needs to prove these charges are completely baseless and that his conviction should be overturned. Scooter Libby is facing years in jail and huge fines, he needs our immediate help.”

Everytime you donate to the foundation, a minority goes to community college! Take that and suck on it, Horatio Alger!

In a similar vain, I suggest everyone take the Blasphemy Challenge. You get a free DVD and hey, free souls.

Other blogs worthy of checking out: They Scream Jordan at APJ, Byron Crawford finds a Jane Magazine blog dedicated to readers showing their breasts (it’s not as great as its sounds, I promise), Fox News Clearly Stating That People Who Question the Government are Absurd, and Gay Marriage is Twice as Popular as President Bush!

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Centipedes In My Vagina?

Via an AutoAdmit thread:

I think the most disturbing event of my life happened just yesterday.

I’ve been chatting with this girl over msn for a while now, and we met a couple weeks ago. (she’s ok-looking, sort of like Beth Ditto but not as fat and not as hot) Yesterday we had a date, and after seeing a movie went back to her place, we made out and before long I had my tongue buried in her vag and a finger in her ass.

This is where it all goes wrong.

I pulled my finger out and started licking her anus while gently pinching her clit, I then leaned back a bit while trying to find a comfier position, and was just going to slide a finger back into her ass when I notice something odd.

There’s something on my finger. Moving.

At this point I have no fucking idea what’s going on, with a closer look I see there’s about 6 or 7 small white stringy things (each about 0.5″ long) on my finger and more around her ass.

They’re all writhing and wriggling.

Horror.

I’m now holding my finger between us, pointing at it with my other hand, I can’t speak; she’s panting, out-of-breath, and looking at me as if to say “Why did you stop?”. When she realises what’s wrong she says “Oh…, they’re just threadworms, most people have them, they’re harmless.”

I ran.

4 hours later, I got back back home, I washed my hands with bleach and dettol, gargled a whole bottle of mouthwash, swallowed maybe 1/2 a tube of toothpaste.

At first, I thought this was a joke, you know, ha ha, a girl has a bunch of worms coming out of her asshole. How very CARRIE BRADSHAW of you!

But no, these things are very, very real:

The best known is the human pinworm, also known as the threadworms Enterobius vermicularis and the more recently discovered Enterobius gregorii. The adult pinworm male is 1–4 mm in length, while the adult female is 8–13 mm and possess the long, pin-shaped posterior end for which the worm is named. The human pinworm is commonly found in children…

The pinworm lives in the lower part of the small intestine, and the upper part of the colon. It is found worldwide and causes the common infection enterobiasis in humans. Unlike many other intestinal parasites, the pinworm does not usually enter the bloodstream or any other organs besides the intestines. Only in rare cases disoriented pinworms can be found in the vagina, and even more rarely in the uterus, fallopian tubes, liver and peritoneum…

After mating, the male dies. The female migrates to the anus and emerges, usually during the night, to deposit about 10,000 to 20,000 eggs in the perianal area (around the anus). She then secretes a substance that causes a very strong itching sensation, inciting the host to scratch the area and thus transfer some of the eggs to the fingers. Eggs can also be transferred to cloth, toys and the bathtub. Once ingested orally, the larvae hatch and migrate back to the intestine, growing to maturity in 30-45 days. The eggs can survive from 2 to 3 weeks on their own outside of the human body. It is also in some cases where the larva will hatch around the skin of the anus and travel back inside the anus, up the rectum and back into the intestines where it matures.

If that doesn’t turn you on enough, check out this video from the New England Journal of Medicine that gives you a close up video of a 55 year old mans colon infected with pinworms! Yum yum yum, dinner is served:

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5 Reasons Ron Paul Was Right About The Origins of 9/11

In light of the recent controversy in which Ron Paul had the gall to suggest that September 11th originated from years of mistrust and animosity towards the Western world and America in particular with regards to involvement in the Middle East, we wanted to provide a succinct list of perceived grievances towards America. Stated by Radley Balko in Fox News (of all places):

The “blowback” theory isn’t some fringe idea common only to crazy Sept. 11 conspiracy theorists. It doesn’t suggest that we “deserved” the Sept. 11 attacks, nor does it suggest we shouldn’t have retaliated against the people who waged them….
What it does say is that actions have consequences. When the Arab and Muslim world continually sees U.S. troops marching through Arab and Muslim backyards, U.S. trade sanctions causing Arab and Muslim suffering and U.S. bombs landing on Arab and Muslim homes, it isn’t difficult to see how Arabs could begin to develop a deep contempt for the U.S.

In this post, I’ll try to provide a concise summary of grievances that resonate with the Middle Eastern public that facilitates a hostility towards America and fuel the extremism that led to 9/11, the Madrid bombings, and the July 7th attacks in London:

1. Perpetuation of Israeli / Palestinian Conflict

Since the creation of Israel in 1948, the Palestinian conflict has become a symbol of Western imperialism forced upon Arabs. Over 89 billion dollars in foreign aid, much in the way of defense grants, has been given to the Israeli’s to create a first world country with the strongest military in the world. In comparison, the Palestinians have lived under an economically crooked and politically backwards country further stratified and isolated by the Israeli occupation that has existed since 1967. The everyday realities of the world’s longest military occupation combined with Israeli settlements condemned repeatedly by the United Nations yet ignored by the United States solidifies many beliefs that the US, as the primary backer of Israel, is guilty of facilitating their crimes. In the Baker-Hamilton report, US-led peace efforts in Palestine-Israel was listed as the crucible of restoring the American image in the Middle East.

2. The Support of Undemocratic / Illegitimate Governments

While the Bush administration has superficially promoted democracy as a panacea to the Middle East, America has continued to strengthen ties with the regions most undemocratic countries. The most notorious and despised of these may be the Egyptian government headed by Hosni Mubarak — an autocratic system that relies on an intelligence agency known for medieval torturing of government opposition. Since 1979, over $50 billion has been given to Egypt, including an average of over 1 billion dollars a year in military aid. The US’ involvement in the overthrow of the Prime Minister of Iran in the 1950s is also a key event in understanding Middle Eastern resentment of America. America’s support of Saudi Arabia, Bin Laden’s home country, has led him to state “our country has become an American colony.” In this context, he likens himself to the French resistance fighting against the Germans. It’s strange to think that when he was fighting Soviet colonization of Afghanistan, America saw it that way too.

3. 1990-2003 Sanctions Against Iraq

United Nations sanctions against Iraq were imposed by the United Nations in 1990 following Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait in 1990, and continued until the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003. They were perhaps the toughest, most comprehensive sanctions in history, and have caused much controversy over the humanitarian impact, culminating with two senior UN representatives in Iraq resigning in protest of the sanctions. In as much as the economic sanctions were designed to topple Saddam they were a failure, however the sanctions caused the death of between 400,000 and 800,000 Iraqi children. The reasons include lack of medical supplies, malnutrition, and especially disease owing to lack of clean water. Among other things, chlorine, needed for disinfecting water supplies, was banned as having a “dual use” in potential weapons manufacture. On May 10, 1996, appearing on 60 Minutes, Madeleine Albright, then U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, was presented with a figure of half a million children under five having died from the sanctions. Not challenging this figure, she infamously replied “we think the price is worth it”. The sanctions regime was finally ended on May 22, 2003 (with certain arms-related exceptions) by paragraph 10 of UNSC, after approximately 1.5 million people had died. Osama bin Laden stated that one of the three reasons the World Trade Center was attacked was the U.S. sanctions against Iraq.

4. Presence of American Troops in the Middle East

United States troops have been stationed in Saudi Arabia since the First Gulf War and have become a potent symbol of Washington’s role in the region, and many Saudis see them as proof of the country’s subservience to America. Saudi Arabia is home to some of Islam’s holiest sites and the deployment of US forces there was seen as a historic betrayal by many Islamists, notably Osama Bin Laden. It is one of the main reasons given by the Saudi-born dissident to justify violence against the United States and its allies.

5. Diplomacy of Convenience

The Cold War created an atmosphere of a zero-sum diplomatic game in the world and the Middle East provided for a fertile battleground for this extensively intrusive style of diplomacy. In the 1980’s, America provided arms and financial assistance to the Mujahdeen’s (including Osama Bin Laden and future founders of the Taliban) to fight the Soviets in Afghanistan. With the Iraqi-Iranian war raging, America provided Saddam Hussein with conventional and chemical weapons, while at the same time supplying Iran in the Iran-Contra Affair. The chemical weapons would eventually be used by Saddam on the Iranians and on his own population during civil unrest from the Kurds. The painfully accurate quip during apprehensions to the 2003 invasion of Iraq was “We know Iraq has weapons of mass destruction; we still have the receipt”.

Sources

$50 billion later, taking stock of US aid to Egypt by Charles Levinson, Christian Science Monitor

US pulls out of Saudi Arabia, BBC News

Transcript of Osama Bin Ladin interview by Peter Arnett

U.S. Financial Aid To Israel: Figures, Facts, and Impact, Washington Report on Middle East Affairs

Bin Laden’s ‘letter to America’, The Observer

Do we really want another ignoramus in the White House? by James Ostrowski

Straight Talk: Paul Has a Point By Radley Balko, Fox News.

Economic Sanctions in Iraq as a Tool of Foreign Policy by Robert W. McGee

Stallone’s ‘Rambo III,’ Globe-Trotting Cowboy For the 80’s Audience by Janet Maslin (”Rambo III” is dedicated ”to the gallant people of Afghanistan”)

Fisk and Osama by Robert Fisk

Operation Ajax, coup of Iranian government in 1953

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Jihad on Natasha Mitra

Even though it isn’t Fatwa Friday, I’m about to raise the stakes a little bit after reading this article in the New York Magazine Look Book (via the Times Deal Book). I’m declaring a Jihad on Natasha Mitra, a 26 year old who graced the pages purely on her merits as a conspicuous consumer and her abilities to embody all the traits of a vapid Manhattanite whore. Seriously, read this spiritless scorpion wenches answers to the interview questions:

Was the bag expensive?
Yes—about $3,500. I guess a lot of craftsmanship goes into it. Accessories for me are the key. I have about twenty bags, and I don’t know how many shoes. But they’re Vuitton, they’re Versace, they’re Gucci, and they’re Dior.

And your sunglasses?
They’re D&G. I was really excited to find them. They’re wild and crazy and different.

What do you do for a living?
I work in private equity. I love the sector that I work in, which is the consumer and retail group. It’s an area that I’m passionate about. I love to consume. Consuming is my specialty.

Who made you, and why? Regardless, it’s official from Imam Prose Before Hos — JIHAD ON NATASHA MITRA!

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National Zombie Prayer Day

Interested in an honest debate about the US involvement in Afghanistan, then head over to Civilian Casualties in Afghanistan: Germany’s Defense Minister Criticizes US Policy at the Atlantic Review. By the way, big props to my friends over there for having their article on Wolfowitz quoted in Slate. The farthest I’ve gotten is getting insulted on Gawker. 🙁

I also suggest you head over to Publius Pundit for an article about the Saudi Initiative written by resident scholar Adam from TOFYH. There are ‘interesting’ comments, mostly coming from Mark Krauss of Class 8 Commentary.

In a sentiment shared by many of us in the world, Violent Acres states that Weddings are Stupid. Nothing says classy like a poor display of wealth though, so I’m planning on having my wedding ‘freedom themed‘, with the whole Superdome (yes, we will rent out the Superdome) draped in American flags. Also, all brown/black people within a half mile radius will be sprayed with malt liquor and oil to celebrate freedom.

On to those crazy Germans, who have probably the best ad to invite business into their country. I was seriously hoping one of those hookers was going to be a tranny so a big floppy cock would fall out of a garter, but no such luck.

Question: Would you ride this roller coaster? Answer: only if I was tripping off LSD and had a colon filled with burritos and frogurt. To round things out, since a lot of religion is like pooping out Mexican food, check out Barack Obama (Bin Ladans) view on Religion & Politics, Premarital Sex: Where Christians Get It Wrong (missionary style, anyone?), the myth of an atheist Hitler, and of course, don’t forget to celebrate your national day of prayer!

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