The Mall Where White People Used to Shop

This may possibly be the greatest blog article I’ve read in a long, long time. He documents how a local mall, once populated by tight jeaned white sluts and overcaffeinated suburban soccer moms, is now infested by the gorillas-with-shoes crowd who take time off from getting abortions to steal from local retailers. Some choice bits (but read the whole thing, including the comments):

I don’t visit the Galleria too often because a) traffic over there is always so fucked up, and b) it’s not like I’m about to buy shit anyway. I do pass by it sometimes on the way to Borders, and in the past six months or so, I couldn’t help but notice packs of young black kids with backpacks crossing Brentwood, the street out in front of the Galleria.

Ruh roh.

Here’s the thing: they recently built an extension to Metro Link – the train system that connects some of the shittier parts of St. Louis to downtown – that stops right out in front of the Galleria. So obviously all of these kids are taking the train from the ghetto to the Galleria after school. I don’t know if they’re out there boosting, or looking for young girls to impregnate, but suffice it to say it’s not like they’re looking for shoes for a job interview.

Bryon Crawford, if you are reading this, or some of your readership, I want you over here. Immediately. (Especially this guy).

nigger folks become sick when they is around white people. if they have white blood in them they is more likey to get schizophrenia and weird mental problems and the biggest niggers serial killer have some white blood in them.

also, old, filthy nigger sluts going to the methadone clinic who are lesbians who want to eat white pussy are the most extreme hate-filled feminists and confrontational women out there and they like to punk out men and they shoot heroin to deal with their lesbianism and they also get niggas locked up for all sorts of sex crimes when the dirtbag nigga just wanted some pussy.

when they is done getting niggers locked up for crimes they go to white places for both drug tratment and feminist indoctrination which tells them men is why they is a skany drug addicted whore and they is also feminists who think every white man want a piece of their skanky methadone clinic pussy.

Valerie Plame: Hot or not? Depends on your news source

Last week we had the pleasure of seeing Valerie Plame testify in front of a congressional hearing to discuss the situation and aftermath of being exposed in retaliation of her husband’s critical piece about enriched uranium. Of course, coverage varies — from CNN putting the story on the front page of their website, to Fox News merily having a video on the side of the site — but the most interesting variations were seen in the pictures used on the various media outlets:

All in all, it’s what we’d expect: on CNN, Valerie Plame is a sexual freak who I want to enrich my uranium all over; on MSNBC, she is as neutral as Keith Olbermann’s non-offensive PC haircut; on Fox News, she is an angry liberal scorpion; and inexplicably on AOL, she is medusa reincarnate.

I love Canada

Canada is great, and their tv shows are the hottest thing at the Onion AV club. I wish I could have a Canadian slave. Also, Buddhists have cooler superpowers than Christians

Best Example, Urban Dictionary

1. carte blanche

unconditional authority.

I gave my boyfriend carte blanche. He can fuck me anyway he wants.

Sounds about right to me. Thumbs up… and high five!

Carte Blanche [urban dictionary]

Bareback Neo-Con Gangbang… mmm mmm good.

It’s been another fun week of White House intrigue in the blog-o-sphere. With Iraq entering it’s 5th year and Alberto Gonzales lubbing up his neck for the political guillotine, I’m feeling the heat all the way from Farragut Square. I even took an extended lunch break in Lafayette Park, right behind the White House, hoping to catch Tony Snow getting a rim job from a gay prostitute. Alas, it was not to be! But then again, there’s more and more chatter from the right about how they feel betrayed by their once ideal second coming of Reagan/Jesus.

BETRAYED! By the White House! Conservatism in America isn’t a legacy of arrogant and inhumane foreign policy, backwards beliefs in regard to women’s rights or religion, thinly veiled racism and homophobia or being reverse robin hoods! No, they wanted oh-so much more:

“We are conservative scholars, activists and writers. We do not favor a crippled executive or enfeebled government. In a time of danger, checks and balances make for stronger government because the people will more readily accept a muscular authority if barriers against abuses are strong. If at some future time Congress, in turn, aggrandizes power and invades the executive or judicial domains, we will be equally alert to sound the alarm. But today, the clear and present danger to conservative philosophy is the White House,”

Wah wah! I got gang-banged by Bill Kristol and Douglas Feith and all I got was this lousy case of Zionist Herpes! and jingo journalism!

Frankly, I’m tired of the whining. I want more sexy scandals and pictures of Lindsay Lohan. More reality TV shows! More Alberto “They Still Let My Kind Add Random o’s to WASP Names” Gonzalez please! More hot Michael Vick herpes stories!