Zach Braff’s Pussy

Zach Braff is Zach Braff in another dull movie about emotions smothered with plenty of independent music! Oh boy! Slate vindicates I am not the only person in the world who hates the sheep who love Garden State et. al. shit. “If Zach Braff is the voice of my generation, can’t someone please crush his larynx?”

And let’s not forget about FATWA FRIDAYS: “A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering “Fatwa Fridays” with free swords for the kids is offensive and should not be aired, Muslim leaders said on Sunday.”

Which delves into the more serious question, why do they hate us? The answer is a series of semi-humorous political cartoons, and of course, the New York Times. And why do we get so horny? “Women become sexually aroused as quickly as men.” LIES!!!!!!!!!!!! But who the hell gets aroused watching Mr. Bean?

Subjects were naked from the waist down and positioned themselves such that their genital area was exposed and readable by the thermal imaging device. The participants next watched another video with the same subject matter, or one featuring pornography, horror or comedic clips from the Best Bits of Mr Bean.

Frontline

“Since January 1983, FRONTLINE has served as American public television’s – PBS – flagship public affairs series. Hailed upon its television broadcast debut as “the last best hope for broadcast documentaries,” FRONTLINE’s stature over 23 years is reaffirmed each week through incisive documentaries covering the scope and complexity of the human experience.”

Frontline is one of the best series on TV, and all of their previous episodes are online.

Check out, “Kidnappings. Suicide bombers. Beheadings. Roadside bombs. The Iraqi insurgency continues to challenge the most highly trained and best-equipped military in the world. FRONTLINE peels back the layers and gets beyond the propaganda to take a complex look inside the multi-faceted insurgency in Iraq. The investigation includes special access to insurgent leaders, as well as commanders of Iraqi and U.S. military units battling for control of the country and detailed analysis from journalists who have risked their lives to meet insurgent leaders and their foot soldiers. On February 21, FRONTLINE explores the battle for one Iraqi town and presents vivid testimony from civilians whose families were targeted by the insurgents.“

Touch the boys until your weiner explodes

Foley Erect! There is nothing better than an individual being a hypocrite, especially when that person is a Republican representative that has championed child protection legislation. And then misspelling ‘bulge’ to a 16 year old boy in hot, steamy IM conversations. The real question is: where do you unload it? And, why are all homosexuals = pedophiles now?

And the best part, the homosexual = pedophile people (aka Fox News & Co.) called Foley a Democrat. Because we all know that the Democrats are bank rolled by pedophiles (and don’t forget the atheists), and this whole episode is a big gay conspiracy.

By the way, doing crystal meth just got a lot more cooler. And Estonia is number one on the State of the World Liberty index.

You fucking Facebook fuck boys!

Look what they done did to my Holden Caulfield account:

So I was going to lure some unsuspecting 19 year old females to my MOOOOOON colony and hit them with a frying pan! Is that such a big deal? God, grow up, INTERNET.

Insulted, but Appreciated

I received an email for Death Cab for Cutie presale tickets with the following description of DCFC (why would you mildly insult the band coming to your venue?), but regardless, consider your emo-self called out:

Death Cab For Cutie Presale
Death Cab for Cutie musically embodies the spirit of millions of smart-but-sensitive Zach Braffs and Seth Cohens out there. And while frontman Ben Gibbard has become the posterchild for a collegiate Everyman, we will try to refrain from describing DCFC’s latest single, “I Will Follow You Into The Dark” as “precious”. However, we will be counting Vespas vs. messenger bags at their shows this November. The first night is already sold out, so best make “Plans” to see their second D.C. date.

Ouch.