Mmm, shoulder massage

Zee Germans do not like to be touched!

message.cpp

/*
* Baby, let’s implement these methods together. Please, won’t you let me see your private members?
*/

int main() {
ASSERT(OrianeIsGreat);
Guy me = Guy::HookersForJesus;
Girl you = Girl::OrianeIsGreat;

int heart = me->say(you, “what’s a girl like you doing in a Web2.0 place like this?”);
if (heart <3)
HappilyTogether we = you + me;
else
me->MurderSuicide();
return LOVE;
}

Science You’ve Outdone Yourself

First, go here: http://www.tenthdimension.com/flash2.php

Click on “imagining the ten dimensions” and watch the video. See—you gotta’ do a little homework to get this post.

Now you can mind dance with me. We dance the tango. I’ll lead.

I’m a big fan of theoretical science. But—and I think the evolution skeptics will agree with me here—the string theory, or M theory (the basis for the flash movie) is just theory. And in fact, I have no qualms with the characteristics of most of the dimensions outlined in the flash presentation or really the notion that there are more than four dimentions. It may be a little tought to conceptualize, but I don’t take much objection.

This shouldn’t surprise anyone as I’m not a Theoretical Physicist, but something didn’t sit right with me when the movie explained the fifth dimension. According to the String theory, the fifth dimension exhibits all different timelines based on infinite variations of the Big Bang existence. It basically says that there are multiple other worlds in which you and I and everything else range from slightly to totally fuckin’ different—which brings me to free will.

The question is, “Do we have free will?” And the answer, as I see it, is, “No.”

Two twins are separated at birth. They do not know that they are twins. They do not know they are siblings. They live in completely different areas—different cultures. When they are middle aged they meet. It turns out they have strikingly similar characteristics. Their mannerisms are the same. Their taste in women is the same. They like the same books, movies, and cars.

This has happened. This has happened more than once. And the phenomenon doesn’t just occur with twins, though it is most pronounced with them. They’re so similar that the only way to account for it is to conclude that genetics play a role in our identities.

The x factor in these twin situations that makes them different at all is environment. There are some environmental factors that inevitably play into a person’s identity. Whether it be a traumatic accident or the death of a loved one or even something as simple as getting coffee in the morning, these thing effect us and the way we act in much the same way our genetics do.

So if a person’s environmental factors could be understood completely and their genetic factors could be understood completely, then that person’s every action could be predicted and thus free will would become merely an illusion.

But if everything can be predicted—if we are on this path that is the relationship between genetics and environment—If existence is just, as Modest Mouse Says, a “Math Equation”—then how are their an infinite number of timelines to our existence?

Now, I used to think that believing that Jesus was the son of god born to a virgin, that he walked on water along with a slew of other unlikely ruckus, then dyed, resurrected, went to hell and then to heaven, was tough to commit to. But Science, well, looks like you’ve outdone god again.

…dont get me wrong I still take science over jesus Im juts saying’

hot sex and love in my petition
signed sealed and sent to your position now

and all I want is your memory
a setting song to this melody

these words these words are my admission
at nights I dreamt that we’d be kissin

how all of the flowers they all burst in may
and of my god if I could speak I’d say

these days and nights are long
but the hours fade away to say

I’ve been waiting for you

one candy coated kiss is killin
my baby loves me but she’s missin out

stuck in the back of the scenery
painted she weeps just like a willow tree

one step towards hell and I am running
don’t trip don’t fall just be forgiving

dao and though the road leads from these memories
soaked in the thought of this melody

remember the words you’ve said
remember the feelings you’ve lost
swim with me round my head
be with me till the last drop’s gone

gone like the rites of spring
gone like the fall leaf’s coloring
gone like the summer nights
gone is the winter’s stormy white

you are a fire burning bright
and I am just recovering

we took a last look at the sea as we
pushed away
took the lsat train to nowhere
going fast

your eyes burn true
don’t look so blue

but all I could see was sky
around me
endless sky and endless distance
from me to you

we’ll all be gone
I’ll soon be gone

but though I am more than this
it shocks me when I hear you say

I’ve been waiting for you

so baby won’t you be my missus
then maybe this won’t sound so vicious
bitch

Dear Potential Employer

Dear Potential Employer:

My people skills have been impeccably honed due to two years spent on various large sailing yachts with multiple stinking, farting men, and combined with 14 months grinding corporate cock, I feel perfectly qualified to work within the high-stress, male-dominated atmosphere of Corporate America. I have an ability to compromise, perfected from the lengthy and demanding negotiations involved in my former employment (eg “Give me a blow job”, “No, fuck off”, “Give me a hand job”, “No, fuck off”, “Give me a lapdance”, “OK”) and yet a steely determination of where my goals are and how to achieve them (“It’s 850 bucks for a private room, no fucking freebies”).