Boners and Bigots (A New Fox News Collaboration)

Salon has an article today about how impotence may be related to… girls being slutty? Apparently some beefcakes had boner problems, and this translated into an article about loose as a goose caboose being the culprit. As members of the Yuppie Death March, post-college graduates should actively seek out to relive their glory days of binge drinking and awkward sexual encounters (bravo, manwhores & sluts). Also, check out my less-than-sensical response.

Slate asks an even more question: are you racist because you hate rap? And the answer is yes, if the PC police have their way. They and the liberal media are primarily out to get you. So lock your children in basement with an iPod and a bible, because otherwise they may become intelligent human beings. And that is NOT what America is all about.

In the sidenote of the day, the New Yorker has a piece on how Nigerians can scam seemingly rich-turned-retarded Americans out of their money. Woops!

You’ll be just blazed!

Radiohead at MSG (I want IRONY)

I put this on ateaseweb.com and craigslist, hopefully I’ll get some tickets (agh!):

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to ask for tickets to the June 13th or June 14th Radiohead show at Madison Square Garden. I attempted but was unable to purchase tickets during the online release date and cannot afford to buy a pair of tickets as they are being advertised now on Craigslist or Ebay. I suppose there are a fair amount of pleas out there from people so I commiserate that everyone that wants tickets (and probably deserves tickets) has not received them. However, I’ll still share my experience: I currently work at a non-profit in Washington DC, and my girlfriend who I wish to take with me to the concert works as a public school teacher in the Bronx, so paying upwards of $300 plus for each ticket is not feasible. Further, it is also my birthday on the 13th (I will fax you my drivers license or even my birth certificate for verification), and I have never had the pleasure of seeing Radiohead in person. I was scheduled to see them in spring 2001 at Bull Run in Virginia where Radiohead was scheduled to perform for 2 days. However, after Kid Koala finished a set on the first day, an unusual thunderstorm set upon the park and consequently, Radiohead did not perform. Severe inclement weather continued the next day, so both shows ended up cancelled with no Radiohead performance, and they have not returned to the Washington DC area since.

Though I am saddened that a lot of people are selling and buying tickets at extraordinary prices, perhaps depriving a lot of deserving individuals in attendance, I do not blame anyone for their actions (even the ticket brokers) for being swayed by monetary incentives. My budget is limited, but I am willing to pay well over face value for a pair of tickets to either show so a couple of serious Radiohead fans can enjoy the irony of a Street Spirit sing a long, or whatever the night may bring. If you need to reach me, I am available at [email protected]. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Alec

What you got against my Wics?

$675 / 1br – Upper East Side Studio

600 square foot studio w/ full bathroom, kitchen available this July. 4th floor w/ elevator and door man. Just off corner of 49th and Lexington. Clean, and recently refurbished. Hard-wood floors. Ideal for young professional or student. Tenant must participate in Wiccan feast of Baal and Gozer once a month. Will provide free conversion ceremonial bath if tenant not already initiated. No dogs allowed, but one or two cats are okay. Applicants must meet residency guidelines and credit criteria.

News That Blew

Salon is having an excellent day on two fronts: first it explores Al-Sadr’s ability to gain popularity and power in Iraq by being strong militarily, but more importantly, providing basic services/goods such as food to entire populations. Secondly, Salon has a feature on Colbert’s performance at the Press Corp examining it for what it is: a biting piece on the inaction and inabilities of the journalistic community. The name sums it all up (if you like shortcuts), “Cowardly and clueless, the U.S. media abandoned its post as Bush led the country into a disastrous war. A look inside one of the great journalistic collapses of our time.”

In the world of foreign relations, apart from today’s letter from the President of Iran to President Bush, Coming Anarchy has an excellent piece on the growing bond between Germany and the US, specifically over diplomacy with Iran. The most interesting portion deals with an interview Mr. Bush gave to a German newspaper about the differences caused by the Iraqi War:

Bild: Do the Americans have the feeling that they were abandoned by the Germans in the war against Saddam Hussein?

Bush: I’ve slowly realized that part of the nature of the German people is that they detest war. The Germans just don’t like war, regardless of where they stand on the political spectrum. And I can understand that. There’s a generation of people whose lives were destroyed by it.

The Washington Post has an article on the friendship of famed economist John Kenneth-Galbraith and historian Arthur M. Schlesinger. The best line comes first: “There was a time — it’s been decades now — when politicians or pundits would call people “liberal intellectuals” and not mean it as an insult.” In the spirit of Galbraith, the WP also has an article about Mr. Bush’s inability to deal with Social Security, entitled “An Irresponsible President”.

And in my funny but not really so funny news of the day, President Bush nominated an ex-Air Force general who looks like an albino bowling ball with eyes to be the head of the CIA. Conspiracy theories can be thrown out, because intelligence evidence can now be DIRECTLY edited by someone with vested interest in the Military-Industrial complex! Yayyyyyyy!