Occupy John Wall Street: A 2012 NBA Season Preview

The Different, New Spurs?: Manu Ginobili insists he saw a UFO while boarding the team bus. And Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria with Brent Barry’s wife.

The San Antonio Spurs were not supposed to be entertaining. Time was they were the dullest, ho-hum pseudo-dynasty in NBA history. They won the odd-numbered years. Tim Duncan netted 20-12. And the networks cringed at the playoff TV ratings as the Spurs lulled us to sleep with their transition defense.

But something bizarre happened in 2010-2011. The ancient, banged-up San Antonio Spurs became… interesting. And better than ever. The Spurs flirted with 70 wins. They steam-rolled along to the top-seed in the West. Before something even more bizarre happened.

The San Antonio Spurs collapsed. Tim Duncan’s creaky ankle gave way, for starters. Then they were outclassed and outplayed by reformed Jail Blazer Zach Randolph and the Memphis Grizzlies. And the top-seeded Spurs were upset in the first round.

Perhaps now the cosmic balance will be restored. The Spurs will grow tedious again. They will pluck up some unheralded foreign player late in the NBA draft. And perhaps the answers will trickle in for this most inexplicable of Spurs’ seasons. The case of Manu Ginobili’s UFO sighting was solved: a squad of energy drink Red Bull skydivers. Why Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria, however, will befuddle historians to the end of time.