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Internets, I’m back for you baby. I lurv you.

Byron Crawford, you got some competition (for my fast food heart):

Chinese Baby Eats Jello

Bill O’Reilly, Professional Hypocrite

“The meanness of the discourse in general bothers me.” Yah, Bill O’Reilly people.

Those People Are JERKS!!

By the way, what exactly was Sarah Palin running for — Vice President of the United States of America or treasurer of a special-ed fifth grade class? Judging by her inability to respond to criticism other than call her detractors ‘jerks’, I’m going with the latter.

See Also: The Conservative Intelligentsia And Palin, Rumor Patrol: Romney Camp Spreading Palin Stories?, Borowitz Scoop: Palin to be Ambassador to Africa, Africa Dumbatta, Palin calls attacks ‘cruel’ and ‘cowardly’, The GOP: Celebrating Ignorance, McCain/Palin Aide: Campaign Leaker “Twisting” Palin’s Words “Maliciously”, and Palin Fought Decisions Behind The Scenes.

Uncle Nader Doesn’t Like Uncle Toms

“To put it very simply, he is our first African American president; or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he’s going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country, or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations.” — Ralph Nader on the election of Barack Obama

See Also: Alright, now where’s my free flatscreen?, Ralph Nader: Will Obama be an Uncle Tom?, Classless Nader ‘Uncle Tom’ Comment, Don’t Need No Nader-ation, Ralph Nader Ponders if Barack Obama Will be an “Uncle Sam” or “Uncle Tom”, Nader Defends Obama Slur, Ralph Nader: Racist Douchebag, Ralph Nader Claims Obama May Turn Out to be “Uncle Tom”, Nader drops an “Uncle Tom” bomb on election day, Say What?????, Ralph Nader Says He Hopes Obama Isn’t An “Uncle Tom”, and Nader: Will Obama be an Uncle Tom?