Reasons I Fucking Hate Keith Olbermann

Seeing as my I fucking hate Keith Olbermann post is the number 1 google search result for… I fucking hate Keith Olbermann, I feel that it is my duty to enumerate the reasons why I fucking hate Keith Olbermann:

#1 He is an overpaid, wanna-be progressive in the mold of the typical over-educated, under-critical New England Liberal. This can be summed up as “I want a reconfiguration of the American socio-economic landscape, as long as it doesn’t impact my privilege, challenge my own lifestyles and perspective, or induce a structural shift in the inequalities in American society that I benefit from.” These are also the same people that think Barack Obama is ‘change’.

#2 He thinks he is a real journalist. Everyday of his life seems to be a painful exercise in thinking he’s Edward Murrow. Bad news buddy, you’re the centrist version of a Fox News commentator, just spewing vitriol into the magic shiny box every night.

#3 He wins the award for douchiest quote ever, “I’m not a liberal, I’m an American.”

#4 He is a direct descendant of Pol Pot.

There you have it. All the reasons I fucking hate Keith Olbermann.