The Gay Christian Hypocrite Theater

There is one thing you always want to read when you catch up on sports: “Minnesota high schools grappling with herpes”. Apparently, all of those after-practice shenanigans (read: GAY ORAL SEX WRESTLING HIGH SCHOOL PARTIES!!!) are getting out of control. And the definitive question is asked:

“I think it’s a bold step,” he said. “How else are you going to get this thing cleared up? How do I explain to a mom that her kid has herpes forever?”

…Anderson said the greatest concern is an infection of the eye, which can, in rare cases, lead to scarring or blindness.

You don’t explain it to them, because you probably gave it to them by imposing your sexual deviance all over their body/face, and you didn’t make them wear goggles to shield them from impending sexiness and disease.

That’s not even the scariest or sexiest story of the year according the Economist. No, it’s the illicit smuggling of bomb-grade uranium in former Soviet republics! What, the idea of some radicalists trying to make a bomb scares you? Guess what, the Koran doesn’t come with bomb recipes! If you need me, I’ll be busy driving over foreigners with my Japanese made SUV.

Speaking of radicals, good news everyone! Ted Haggard, minister who thinly veiled his own perversions (including sleeping with male prostitutes and doing meth) by speaking of the evils of homosexuality, is now ‘completely heterosexual’. Oh boy, he’s been cured of his fagness:

One of four ministers who oversaw three weeks of intensive counseling for the Rev. Ted Haggard said the disgraced minister emerged convinced that he is “completely heterosexual.”

Haggard also said his sexual contact with men was limited to the former male prostitute who came forward with sexual allegations, the Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur told The Denver Post for a story in Tuesday’s edition.

“He is completely heterosexual,” Ralph said. “That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn’t a constant thing.”

Oh, duh! He isn’t a bizarre sex freak, he was ACTING! It was all theater, you know, with the drug use, uber-Christian sermons, and sodomy. This guy is god damn committed to his art, that’s for sure.

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Identify the Jerk Off Scenes

After seeing Little Children, I decided that my favorite scene (one of two wonderful MALE MASTURBATION moments), including quote, needed to be on IMDB.com. Check out my thoughtful contribution 2 weeks ago:

Update summary

Little Children (2006)
Quotes – Add
{Haley, Jackie Earle@Ronald James McGorvey}: You aren’t going to tell anyone, or I’ll get you.
{Haley, Jackie Earle@Ronald James McGorvey}: ::furiously jerking off::

And yet the quote page remains free of the wonder of the beat off.

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Glenn Beck – A Cause for Concern

The article of the day comes from AAI’s President Jim Zogby in regards to CNN ‘journalist’ Glenn Beck. Full text is below, followed by commentary and analysis:

Glenn Beck represents a truly troubling trend in television journalism. Since May 2006, the radio talk show host has had his own one hour nightly program on CNNā€™s Headline News channel. While the network may have hoped that Beckā€™s flamboyant style would increase ratings, the cost to their integrity has been staggering.

It is important to note, from the outset, that Beck doesnā€™t stand alone. The insertion of the personalities and style of radio talkshow hosts into mainstream television news programming has been taking place for a number of years now. Their crude, cynical and cutting edge commentary, their feigning the role of the common man, and their inflammatory ā€œus versus themā€ rhetoric is now standard fair on many of the major networks.

The result of this trend is evident on a number of levels. There has been a coarsening and dumbing down of our political discourse on several issues of national importance. When Beck refers to President Carter as a ā€œfatheadā€ or speaks of Saudi leaders as ā€œnut-jobs,ā€ serious discussion is displaced by crude and demeaning jabs.

There is the additional problem that instead of educating the public, this new breed of television pundits reduces issues to their lowest common denominator, thereby reinforcing preexisting, uninformed biases. Never shy to share an unenlightened view, Beck, for example, will note ā€œIā€™m not an expert, butā€¦ā€ and then proceed to make his case using a mishmash of clichĆ©s that reflect the prejudices of conventional wisdom.

While much of the same could be said about a number of other similar personalities that now populate the airwaves, Beck comes with a significant difference. I have carefully reviewed the transcripts of Beckā€™s shows and his so-called, obsessive crusade against radical Islam left me both horrified and profoundly concerned. In just the past two months, for example, one half of Beckā€™s shows have focused on matters Muslim. Beck insists that he is not opposed to all Muslims, only what he refers to as the ā€œ10 percent who are evil.ā€ He then counters this observation by stating that the vast majority of good Muslims have been cowered into silence by the extremist 10 percent, so that they too stand indicted by their cowardice. Only when they do speak out, Beck says, will radical Islam be defeated and the rest of us be safe from their scourge. The net result of this circumlocution is that the majority of Muslims are to blame.

When Beck is not venting his own prejudiced view of Islam, he invites on-air guests who amplify his views. They are of three types: Israelis, right-wing Americans with a long-established ax to grind against Arabs and Muslims, and lastly, a handful of Muslims who are largely alienated and self-styled outcasts who have found their shtick striking out against their co-religionists.

His right-wing guests or Israelis, like former Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (who was Beckā€™s guest for an entire hour on a special program that aired three times in one month) are only too happy to reinforce Beckā€™s views. His Muslim guests similarly serve to validate Beckā€™s complaint about the broader Muslim community. In all of this, there is not even the pretense of balance.

The impact has been predictable and frightening. After I raised some concern that ABCā€™s Good Morning America was hiring Beck to serve as a commentator on that once respected program, I received a taste of what Beckā€™s impact has been. Emails from Beckā€™s supporters have called me ā€œan animal Muslimā€ (Iā€™m a Catholic). Theyā€™ve told me that I donā€™t belong in America (when in fact my family has lived in this country for over 100 years, serving in every branch of the military), and that I am shielding terrorists by refusing to protest against them (wrong on both counts, but my critics have obviously never read my denunciations of terrorism and terrorists).

And it is this that concerns me. We are, in fact, engaged in a troubling conflict against extremism fueled by religious fervor, both ours and theirs. What this period and this conflict require is intelligent discussion, not inflammatory rhetoric. To guide us through this, we need journalists like Walter Cronkite, Edgar R. Murrow and Peter Jennings; we donā€™t need flame-throwers like Sean Hannity, Don Imus and Glenn Beck. Unfortunately, itā€™s the later we are getting more of. And it is this I find disturbing.


Why it’s important: Glenn Beck in undoubtedly one of the dumbest human beings to be given the opportunity to present his stupidity candidly on a national news station, which is saying a lot. He has continuously made outrageous statements with little detriment and seems to be in an unofficial contest with Sean Hannity for publicized ignorance and demagoguery. Taking from his reports and treatment of anyone with brown skin as a terrorist and freedom-hater, I suspect he gets the hand-me-down, picture-book versions of the AIPAC talking points written for Wolf Blitzer. In the words of the Beast:

If the dumbing down of political commentary continues along this trajectory, the next pundit to make the grade will be a hyena. Even the leather-winged shouting heads at Fox News look like intellectual giants next to this bleating, benighted Cassandra. It’s like someone found a manic, doom-prophesying hobo in a sandwich board, shaved him, shot him full of Zoloft and gave him a show. What makes Beck special, aside from appearing to have derived his entire geopolitical outlook from a five-minute segment about Iran on “The 700 Club,” is the folksy “golly gee” manner in which he accuses his guests of collaborating with terrorists.

Analysis: People like Glenn Beck exist in this world, but they are usually confined to lower level white collar jobs that outstretch their intelligence, where they exist to talk about the local sports team around the water cooler. Unfortunately, the defeating element is that no matter how many of us analyze and debunk what he puts forth, somehow Glenn Beck has a television show and an audience. See in you Iraq, toys.

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Only Fags and Addicts at Risk Says Health Expert

Back again to one of my favorites, the good ol’ BBC Online.

This evening, they come to us with a report by a former member of the WHO (the World Health Org. for all you stoners, not the rock band), explaining that HIV is actually only a problem among a few distinct populations, and for others- the time has come to fuck freely.

… it is only in sub-Saharan Africa, where unprotected sex outside marriage is common, that the risk of heterosexual HIV transmission is high.

In other parts of the world, he says HIV is seen only in men who have sex with other men, intravenous drug users and female sex workers.

Those keeping up with my posts will be glad I’ve omitted the picture from the article, which portrays a gay black man shooting meth. Tsk tsk… He’s got HIV folks. Oh yeah, excessive meth use leads to bleached skin in blacks. You heard it here first.

Expert Doubts Widespread HIV Risk

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Jerk off scenes, finger bangs, and blogs.

Oh shit bitch, we’re back, black, and obscener than ever. Let’s jump right into the action.

Kreepie kats kreepie kats! This is only noteworthy because your’s truly, Alexander P. Blogger Dupont, added probably the best comment to this discussion:

A rape scene?? Bush league. I just saw Little Children, which featured not one, but two, jerk off scenes, including one where a woman was in close proximity and crying. Someone’s got to raise the ante.

Nothing’s better a part from referencing jerk off scenes, than effacing BLOG ENTRIES about the timidity and stupidity of the MSM (mainstream media, for you non-blog sluts). Check out DealBreaker’s decomposition of Emmit Smith, who probably is still recovering from hanging out with Michael Irvin’s coke habits. Apparently Emmit Smith has enough money to warrant an in depth report of his investments, courtesy of Fortune.

From the Fortune Article:

“Smith’s interest in real estate began during his days in Pop Warner football in Pensacola, when he sometimes stayed at the home of his coach the night before a game. The 3,500-square-foot house was no mansion, but it was enough to impress a young man who lived in a public housing project, the Courts, with his mother and four siblings.”

Translated for us plebeians by DealBreaker….

Smith liked big houses when he was a kid. Well, I’m ready to invest! Thatā€™s like saying Smithā€™s interest in football began when his dad fumbled him down the stairs when he was a newborn.

The point is that football players rule, and you geeks better get the fuck out of the way. Yah, you. You think Johnny Football Hero knows what a god damn blog is? Slim chance. Now, while you think of this, check out the 10 most embarrassing geek photos, which unfortunately does not include someone beating off to World of Warcraft. They would probably do better if they just tried dressing up as robots.

Anyway kids, stay made prayed up, inject lots of coke, talk shit about the British, and let’s all do our part to bring slavery back. Oh, and apparently Chris Brown has AIDS and the Moonnites caused Boston to freak out.

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