While we’re at it, we might as well just subsidize chemical companies that make non-damaging glue so that we may bind our firearms to our hands at all times without doing any harm. Except for, you know, when we pull the trigger and harm others.
Because why negotiate when you can just drop metaphorical bombs on social safety nets?
Dear Hillary,
You’re tired. You’re triple-Platinum in Frequent Flyer miles these days. So, please, come January, put your feet up, pen that memoir, maybe be a grandma if Chelsea is up for it. But, come 2015, if you get that itch for the one office that has eluded you and final glass ceiling to smash, you know we’ve got a place for you. You know we already have a super PAC “Ready For Hillary” queued up for you, too. And you know we know: Andrew Cuomo is borderline, Elizabeth Warren is too liberal, and Joe Biden talks too much.
Regards,
Your (Grateful) Democratic Party
P.S. Bill can come, too.
P.P.S. The Hillary memes as well.
Were Obama white, FOX might have to worry some about reporting actual news. The horror!
FOX is to substantive news as Velveeta is to cheese.
